One Year Later

By Sanjida Kay

Genre: Psychological Fiction, Thriller

Publisher: Corvus

*Gifted*

The breakdown

The death of Amy's daughter, Ruby-Mae, has left family members shell-like and consumed with grief. Ruby-Mae died at the age of three in a preventable accident. The one year anniversary of her death is fast approaching so the family decide to book a last-minute trip to an island in Italy, hoping a getaway will reduce the pain of their loss and rectify slippery relationships. 

One family member didn't get the memo that they weren't on the invite list, and as the holiday kicks off it becomes clear that the holiday repair dream is far from the reality. Something is definitely off on the island, and someone from the family is hiding a big secret. 

Will everyone make it off the island? And can the fragile family deal with another blow?

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Is that how you're feeling yeah!? 

It took me a long time to get into this book, for the first quarter of the book-length I was disengaged and tempted to put it down. But… I'm glad I didn't because once the story warmed up it gripped me like I was on a rollercoaster and I didn't want to get off.

Sanjida tricked me on so many occasions. I had my thinking hat securely on and on so many occasions I was dead sure that I'd solved a mystery or question and then BOOM the story would flip and I was back to square one mad puzzled. That's how I like my thrillers, unpredictable and various steps ahead of me. I can't say too much of how I'm feeling because there's so much I want to say but can't because I don't want to spoil anything ahhh!

It hit me when 

It hit me when I took a step back from the book and really processed what was going on and how fragile the family was. Also, it made me realise how tense and on edge I felt whilst reading the book because of the disturbing layers. Yoo lies can be the undoing of a lot of things but lies within the family that's some real deep madness. 

Favourite Character 

I didn't form a massive attachment to any of the characters, but I found Nick's chapters to be really engaging. An interesting dynamic that Nick was the youngest of his siblings and very much the family glue that simmered down many situations.

Length

327 pages, including acknowledgement and book club questions. Keep a note pad, and don't be put off by the quiet part at the beginning.

Big quote

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery."

Gifted by Atlantic Books*

Frizzy

Lot

By Bryan Washington

Genre: Short Stories, LGBT Literature

Publisher: Atlantic Books

*Gifted*

The Breakdown

'Lot' is jigsaw pieces coming together in the form of stories exploring a community in the city of Houston. It is really hard to believe that this is the author’s first book and that this book is actually fiction.

The first introduction into the community is through the eyes of a young man, Black on his mum's side and Latin on his dad's, who throughout the book directs readers around the city whilst at the same time trying to find his place within his community.

From his and his families experiences you learn about the division between minorities, the scars of broken family ties, and the ongoing fight to not be defeated. The community naturally have a voice too, and this is told through various individuals.

You learn about the different pockets of Houston through a drug delivery man and his young sidekick, a Pimp who breaks his numero uno house rule by contracting HIV, a ride or die teenage baseball team, and a night of adventure with a sighting of the chupacabra, a mythical creature.

Favourite story

'Alief' is my favourite chapter, it's really powerful in showing how your community shares your indiscretions, pain, jokes and burdens. If I had to rename this title I would call it "chatty patty in full effect". Neighbours really do be in up in your business for real. As a reader you become one of the nosy neighbours, wanting to know how it ends but at the same time holding your breath because you aren't sure how things will play out.

So the gossip is that Paul's woman, Aja, is having an affair with James who also lives in their apartment duplex (In the UK it's a block of flats... small-small difference). But yeah... everyone knows about it except for Paul. Don't be surprised if you start crying at the end of the chapter. I cried for Paul. In the Black community part of being successful is to do better than the generation before you did, to take a step further and Paul ended his journey just like his mother.

It Hit Me When

When the main storyteller admits his sexual preference being men, in confidence to his older brother, who then responds by punching him in the face. Reading that made me feel like I'd been completely blind-sighted and punched as well. It's always hard when those closest to you refuse to accept you for who you are.

Is That How You're Feeling Yeah!?

This book makes you drip in compassion. It's well written and demands your attention right from the start. But most importantly doesn't drop the ball. I smell tick boxing activities from a mile away but can we just pause. We are reading about a young Black and Latin male in the US, who likes males amongst an array of other diverse stories. C'mon, Bryan did that!

The book feels very authentic and gives transparent and unrestricted access to a community that many would never know about, combining the good, the bad and the ugly. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that the author is from the city and has really tapped into realistic, unforgettable and compelling characters. Being from the UK, media coverage about people who fall into these demographics in the US often comes across as judgemental and one-sided and it's refreshing being introduced to these people from a completely different angle.

I love it when books swing into dual languages so I was smiling whilst writing out various Spanish words in my notebook to later translate. A lot of them are cuss words, but you never know when they might come in handy!

Now and again you come across a book that you didn't know you needed, but will never forget! In 2019 this is for sure the book that has done that for me.

Before this book the only Houston reference I had in my mind was Beyonce. But now I'm happy to say when I hear Houston I'll think of the stories that came from this city and the banging author and writer that is Mr Bryan Washington.  

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

The Big Quote

"Your eyes will show you what they want to, or whatever they think you should see."

*Book gifted by Atlantic Books

Frizzy

The Brighton Mermaid

By Dorothy Koomson

Genre: Crime Fiction

Publisher: Headline Review

Watch the Breakdown

This book is a madness where do I even begin?  Two teenagers, Nell and Jude, are on their way home from a party, after sneaking out of their houses, when they find the body of a young woman. They really want to believe she's sleeping but she's definitely not. Well, she's sleeping but she's never going to wake up. No one comes to identify the woman so she becomes known as the Brighton Mermaid. Meanwhile other bodies are washing-up around different shores making people think they have a serial killer running riot. 

Nell and Jude both struggle to cope with their discovery, and more so the aftermath of it. Then 3 weeks later out of nowhere, Jude, who has starting dressing like the dead woman, vanishes. Nell's dad then gets accused off being a murderer and also being linked to Jude's disappearance, which cuts deep for each of the family members, in particular Macy, Nell's younger sister. Legally and mostly illegally their family are pursued by the police for years, with one officer holding a very strong grudge that turns him into a full-blown stalker.

25 years later, as the Brighton Mermaid anniversary is approaching, Nell quits her long term job, after being backed up into a nasty corner by a certain stalker, to find out who murdered the Brighton Mermaid, and also to discover what happened to her best friend Jude.

As Jude gets closer to finding out all the pieces to the Brighton Mermaid murder puzzle people helping her get closer to solving the mystery start getting physically attacked, including herself. 

Someone is hell-bent on the truth not coming out, seeming to know all her next steps and her paranoia increases. As independent as Nell is, she also has some eye candy assisting her.

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Favourite Character

My favourite character from the book is Macy/Macenna. She's really sensitive, vulnerable and extremely impulsive and I just want to give her a big hug (& I don't even like hugging people.) She has OCD and anxiety issues which developed as a result of the aftermath of the murder. She was about 11 years old when the murder of the Brighton Mermaid happened and she's also been holding in a major secret for nearly 25 years which has clearly taken a massive toll on her. 

She has random outbursts that I honestly really get. When her paranoia gets too high she imagines the worse scenarios, which then make her switch on others. An example being when she forced her partner and sister to sit in a room and discuss their issues with each other. Then days later she's having sex with her partner and she stops midway.

“You practically jumped on me when she left. Are you doing it because of her? Because of Nell?”

— Macy

It hit me when

It hit me right at end, there were little bits throughout the book that my mind thought was weird or out of place and all questions that I'd had were then answered towards the end when all the dot-to-dots were completed. When Nell and Macy's dad was strict about so much, in particular sleepovers  it reminded me of my upbringing. For whatever reason if there was a man in the house I wanted to stay in, especially if it wasn't my friend's father, my dad was not involved. Chances are I wouldn't be attending! *I can't say too much more without giving too much away*

That how you're feeling yeah!

I've read so many of Dorothy's books and expected big things from this one. I'm also really used to her writing style which I find really effective, having females as main characters and using different chapters to go back and forth between 2 periods of time. There is so much going on and lots of layers in this book, but everything slots in like a jigsaw piece. Every raw emotion, every gasp is so deliberate and lasts longer than the moment it triggers you. I read half the book in one sitting and when it got to the evening and the sun went down I felt scared. No that's an understatement I was shook-eth. Every little sound set me off. I just kept thinking of the dead woman washed up on the beach in Brighton, remembering her curly afro and tattooes. I'm dramatic but stick with me... I'm sitting in bed, hearing voices outside thinking, ahhhh that could be me in the River Thames next.

The book casually covers important themes such as police brutality, prejudice and White privilege. Let's be clear you need a life vest on when reading this because this book will grab you by two hands and pull you right into the sea, basically like a mermaid would. It's not going give you loads of funny moments, but there's so many other moments you'll get that are more rewarding. Saying that though there is one part that will make you chuckle. Nell kicks the guy she is dating out of her flat and he asks if he can call her.

“Nell: Of course
Zach’s His face brightens and relaxes in relief
Nell: I’m not going to answer, but feel free to call as many times as you like
FX: Door slamming in Zach’s face”

I thought that was so jokes, and I really needed that moment to be able to exhale everything else that had been happening. I always looked forward to little interactions between Nell and Macy, I wanted to lock them in a room and keep them there until they dealt with their issues because their relationship throughout the book is super intense and they clearly walked on eggshells around each other.

Length

429 plus teasers for past books.  I read the book in 24 hours because once I opened the book I struggled to put it down. The pace was perfect and the drama kicked off from the beginning.

The big quote

"Every time I blinked I saw her: the untroubled face, the motionless body, the detail of her tattoo. Every time I breathed I realised that the woman with the Brighton Mermaid tattoo wasn't going to do that ever again."

Questions for the author

1. Will Nell and Jude ever be reunited?

2. Will Nell eventually make one of the 2 men her boyfriend?

3. What inspired this book? It's so spooky and calculated. 

Frizzy

Celestial Bodies

By Jokha Alharthi

Translated by Marilyn Booth

Genre: Literary Fiction

Publisher: Sandstone Press

*Gifted*

Watch the breakdown 

Celestial Bodies is a book about the past and ongoing changes happening in Oman. These are explored mainly through the lives of three sisters back in their village of al-Awafi. The three are very different individuals.  The eldest sister Mayya marries after experiencing heartbreak. The second sister Asma, a lover of books marries out of a sense of duty. And the youngest sister Khawla, stands her ground and refuses various marriage requests choosing to wait for her cousin to return from Canada to marry her. Through the interactions of the sisters with their family and wider community you get an insight into the traditions and cultural beliefs shaping the society which until the 1970s was a slave-owning one.

It hit me when

Khawla asked for a divorce. Ok, you need some context. She waited for years and years for her cousin, they'd been promised marriage to each other when they were younger. Anyway, he'd gone to Canada on a scholarship and basically ditched his studies and never returned to Oman after. He eventually returned to Oman and married Khawla for financial gain. She had him, but she never really had him, and then ten plus years later when he decided he was ready. BAM... she checked out!

Mannnn, a woman has emotionally checked out before she verbally tells you. She put up with a lot and stayed around for so long, even to the point that family members thought she was insane.

Favourite Character

Abdallah was my favourite character. In the midst of there being so many other characters, I looked forward to his chapters. He gave off a real warmth viewing everyone as equal, including slaves. I also felt sorry for him, he loved his wife so much and she just never showed any affection towards him.

Is that how you’re feeling yeah?!

The book is a good insight into a community going through a transition and I managed to get a peek into that. Certain parts I really enjoyed reading. Khawla's journey, and even though the section was short, Maryam and the Judge's marriage, it felt magical. The storytelling was the strongest when the chapters were stand-alone focusing solely on a specific character, cousin Marwan's story is one of them. Someone brought up, with effectively his life already planned for him on the back of a dream his mother had.

The rest of the book felt scattered and all over the place, and it overshadowed in my opinion what could have been a really strong novel. There were so many names and characters coming up and then never being mentioned again. Also, there was no clear order as to how and when these characters appeared so it became really busy. For example, a character like Zarifa would be discussed, then next her death would be covered, and then in the following chapter, a story would continue with Zarifa in it. And then later details of her death would appear again. It was just too confusing.

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Somewhere between salty and CO2. I'm usually so thirsty for little details and answers, but by the time I got to the end of the book I was so drained trying to keep up that I didn't even care about what had really happened to Abdallah's mum, and that is really rare for that to happen to me.

*This book was gifted by Sandstone Press. 

Frizzy

Dune Song

By Anissa M. Bouziane

Genre: Literary Fiction

Publisher: Sandstone Press

*Gifted*

Watch the breakdown

Everything changes for Jeehan Nathaar, after witnessing the collapse of the World Trade Centre. Her American identity gets brutally shattered causing Jeehan to retreat from New York back to her birthplace. Thousands of miles away in Morocco, with fresh friendly faces, Jeehan cannot escape her memories of the 9/11 attacks and gets tangled in a different type of atrocity.

Chapter by chapter the setting shifts between the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks in New York and the desert in the south of Morocco. From the minute Jeehan enters Morocco she is on a journey; her vision is blurry but as time goes on it gets clearer and clearer. And it’s after a burial ceremony in the dunes that Jeehan eventually starts to rebuild herself up from Ground zero.

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Is that how you’re feeling yeah?!

There is something really colourful and poetic about the book, which considering the story, shouldn’t work but it does and it's so beautiful. The book is really raw yet mellow. Issues such as human trafficking appear in the book and I imagined the story would be typically action-packed and abrupt because of the emphasis on that topic but it's honestly nothing like that at all.

The descriptions used in this book are so vivid, even after finishing the book I can still picture the minute Jeehan enters the arrivals lounge in the Moroccan airport, with her yellow suitcase and gets her foot bashed by the cart of an impatient passenger.  

I love the Arabic language and am in awe with how the author used French and Arabic words throughout the book.

It hit me when

I really felt Jeehan’s pain as she explored the newly formed conflict between her Muslim-Arab and American identities. It made me feel really sad that they now had a brand-new meaning because of the actions of some individuals. The same people she had worked alongside, and been friends with now approached her as the other, the protagonist, the enemy and it felt so unsettling to read.

“Why do Muslims, or Arabs, or whatever… why do you hate us so much?”

It's frightening how the notion of home can be flipped upside down so rapidly. The people that knew Jeehan and saw her on a daily basis turned on her in the US so quickly, yet on the other hand, the strangers she met in Morocco took her in and extended their kindness just as quickly. 

It reminded me of an interview I recorded with a school friend for a radio feature I was doing years ago. She openly spoke about her pain of having to endure prejudice and Islamophobic comments because she passed as white. She was a British born Moroccan and didn’t wear a hijab which made others feel comfortable to reel out nasty comments about Muslim people and it really knocked her.

Favourite character

Fareed is my favourite character. I quickly realised that I preferred the Moroccan characters in this book, because I connected with them and was really invested in them.

Even in the harshest of times, Fareed gives you a sense of hope. Because of some of the activities he is involved with it's hard to remember that he is actually just a child.  But then I remember his interactions with Jeehan, and his excitement in his Hawaiian shirt and it really drives home his age and it's easy to picture Fareed as a little brother; good-hearted but naive. 

Length

357 pages. The book went at a really good pace making me feel really at peace with the finishing. It felt like the author was holding my hand and slowly walking me to the end. It really was the ending I hoped for.

Questions for the author

1.What did you title Jeehan’s article?

2.Where does Jeehan eventually make her base as home?

3.Does Mr yellow suit ever face prosecution?

The BIG quote

“She comes to you heavy with the weight of the world.”

*This book was gifted by Sandstone Press.

Frizzy

"I Will Not Be Erased"

By Gal-dem

Genre: Non-fiction, Identity, YA

Publisher: Walkers Books

"I Will Not Be Erased" is a collection of 14 stories detailing the upbringing of people of colour by Gal-Dem. Gal-Dem is a UK media publication founded in 2015 by Liv Little. The online and print magazine is written by women of colour and non-binary people of colour addressing inequality and misrepresentation in the industry.  Basically, Gal-Dem is the shizz-nai-eee (no flies around). 

I've always adored how Gal-Dem target a specific target audience, and within that audience cover just about everything. It's easy to have a niche and target, let's say only the Asian girl who lives in London but Gal-Dem has always strived to represent fairly. It's so refreshing to read articles written by people of colour without the focus being solely on their race.

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Breakdown

The irony of the book title is that it was a complete nightmare locating this book when I went looking for it in my local bookstore because they housed it in the Young Adult Fiction section. Note to stores, there is nothing fictitious about this book and I should have seen it on the tables at the front of the store. PERIODT.

The stories share a key theme, taking inspiration from something each contributor had written whilst growing up. The manner in which the stories were told was very transparent, and naturally, some parts spoke out to me more than others. 

What felt amazing when reading the stories was that even if a story did not resonate with me much I respected it being there getting recognition in a published book. The variety of stories were spot on and I was shocked by some of the stories that were in the collection. Shocked in the sense that some of these topics were things I'd seen talked about amongst a select few trusted people but never mainstream. Talking with zero frills in the following titles "My Virginity and my choice: Dating as a British Muslim" and "From Nightclub to A & E: A Tale about Drugs."

What separates this book from others is that they were not afraid to discuss and enlighten the younger generation about "taboo" subjects. They've skipped the part about caring if people agree with the actions of some and have laid things out on the table covering all realistic angles. A real testament to breaking barriers and encouraging others to speak their truth.

Favourite story

My favourite segment is the second story "It's Pom-Mang-Granate: Be proud of what makes your story different." The author explores her teenager self, feeling embarrassed and annoyed by her parent's Sri Lankan ways and failures to assimilate in a new country with the "perfect vocab". I sat down with my mum and spoke about this topic and we laughed endlessly throwing back and forth words that my mum has either refused or given up on attempting to say in English.

This story took readers on a journey, which didn't feel superficial in any way. For people with British parents, it may have been another funny story but after finishing that section I put the book down and reflected. It made me reflect on how I viewed my mum being "different" growing up, with a strong accent and non-British ways.  And like the author, now that I am older I know how immensely grateful I am to have a parent so strongly into their culture, who can pass down recipes and the richness from their country.

Length

207 pages. The individual stories were a good length roughly 11-12 pages each, not too long for the message to get forgotten but long enough to leave an impact.

Who should read it

Mid-teenagers to young women and non-binary people of colour would be the primary benefactors. However, on a wider scale, this book offers a peak into a different lifestyle to those who are not in the primary audience.  

3 things I've taken from the book 

1. That anyone can be the rainbow to someone's rain, by genuinely accepting people as their authentic self.

2. That I need to spend more time with my mum and Ga'mama and learn more about their homeland.

3. That I need to step out of my comfort zone more because I too have a story to tell.

A letter to my younger self

Inspired by those who spoke their truth in the book I've scribbled out a letter to myself. I immediately thought of 3 topics but one won. "I'll let you get away with it because true say you're a lightie" and " No, my mum isn't from here."I decided to go with...

"I wasn't sure if you was Black until when you started speaking." 

Dear fourteen year old me,

I know you think this is a super compliment because you hate having to explain that no you're not mix raced, and yes your dad is black but no your mum isn't white, but it's not actually meant in a positive way.

You'll learn to understand as you get older what people really mean when they say you "sound black." Not because, you are woke or know all your Black history and the likes of Mary Seacole, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, but because of your personality and the way that you talk.

Even though you think you look unquestionably Black many will keep seeing you as racially ambiguous. The ambiguity will disappear as it becomes clear that your traits are what society have and will label as a stereotypical "Angry Black Woman." You're on the loud side, non-conforming and unapologetic in questioning and calling out B.S. All the things that people like your dad have always said made you inquisitive, authority figures, particularly at school, will label as problematic.

Spoiler alert. You'll get kicked out of the "good old Catholic school" but it will not ruin your life. Even though you will have to pretend to your Ga'mama for a year that you still attend that school so your mum doesn't disappoint her. Don't worry in your 20s all will be forgiven and your mum and Ga'mama will brag to their friends about your University degrees even though your mum will keep telling people about the business degree you earned. News flash no you didn't study business. You'll eventually get into a school bursting with diversity, with people from different faiths and ethnicities. And better yet you'll meet 2 of your closest girls at that school and become an aunt to their children! 

Now that I've got your full attention I'm saying this with love and no judgment I promise. Please be nicer to your fellow black girls who are well spoken and more reserved, it doesn't make them any less black. I know that popular belief is black people with those two features equals wanting to be white but it's not true. You'll understand as you get older how flawed and oppressive those views are.

I'm sorry to say that even in your 20s you'll still have people that don't view you as being black enough, there will be jibes online and shade thrown. *Boo bring the sun I got your back*  I'll keep it all the way real with you though, you will be sad sometimes and cry but you'll also remember that being black does not have a colour chart and you will immerse yourself into your heritage so much that it won't matter what others say. Plus you'll keep using all the boombastic slang that you grew up with. And you'll learn to switch it up when you need to. Honestly, you should really add that to your CV because that right there will be a really useful skill. 

Love you always, especially through the hard times.

Frizzy

Stories for South Asian Super Girls

By Raj Kaur Khaira

Genre: Children’s book, Biographies

Publisher: Kashi House

This collection includes 50 biographies of influential South Asian women. It covers countries such as India, Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh and Afghanistan. 

Representation matters so much and this book here is so important for all the young South Asian girls. Actually no it's important for all young girls. But especially South Asian girls to see what the women that look like them have achieved. There is so much to be learned from these 50 admirable women. The author, the illustrators and all the women mentioned in the book have South Asian heritage, it's refreshing to see everything being kept in the community!

A close friend of mine is South Asian, with family from both India and Sri Lanka, and she often communicates her frustration of the lack of representation of her community. And in particular how the women are viewed as feeble and timid.

Initial Thoughts

As soon as I unwrapped the book I noticed the bright colours on the cover and the inner cover filled with powerful descriptions.

Instinctive | Protector | Creative | Resilient | Savvy

The illustration on the contents page looks so crisp. I immediately recognised some of the women. Well, about 6...

Mindy Kaling - Actress (wrinkle of time)

Rupi Kaur - Poet

Farrah Storr - Editor of Cosmopolitan UK

Nadiya Hussain - Great British Bake Off

Jameela Jamil - Model/Presenter

M.I.A - Singer/Songwriter/Activist

In the introduction, the author Raj reiterated my friend's feelings, of how she feels the women she has descended from have been portrayed. I was excited to turn over the page because I had a strong feeling that if "I didn't know, I'd get to know!"

After Thoughts

I thought that the illustrations of each woman were so beautiful and complimented each piece. The art was honestly on a whole different level. I liked how each super girl mentioned was illustrated by someone different, giving a chance for various illustrators to get involved and the artist's names were written on each piece getting their credits. Also, I loved the mini-interviews with illustrators and that all their social media handles were included. This book for me is a continuous circle of what I call putting a sister on! From educating us about the past supergirls to shining the light on the current ones, to leading the way for the future ones. I liked that there was a variety of ages and that the locations of the women chosen ranged from being in the South Asian region to around the world.

Being only a 2 page spread I needed to go away and do research into the women I was not familiar with because I was left wanting to know more about them. But I learned a lot from this book. Sophia Duleep-Singh was an absolute rebel with a mighty cause, Noor Jahan "wore the trousers" in an era when women's only option was to wear skirts and Aanchal Malhotra is making sure historical events will never be forgotten. I found myself with each page turned in awe of these amazing women.

After reading the book I realised that it is, in fact, a children's book which now makes perfect sense and explains the word format. I can definitely see this being a regular bedtime book, with each day being dedicated to a different super girl. This book is also interactive, including activities to really drive home that the reader is also a super girl. I even saw space for the reader to draw a picture of themselves.

Based on the target audience this book couldn't be any better. It is beautiful, it is uplifting and all the proceeds from the sales are being donated to charities supporting women and children so definitely purchase one.

Frizzy

On The Come Up

By Angie Thomas

Genre: Young Adult Fiction

Publisher: Walker Books

On the Come Up is written by Angie Thomas, the best-selling author of ‘The Hate U Give’ which is also now a very successful film. So, you might be comparing this book to her first one. I’ve never read ‘The Hate U Give’ or watched the movie so I’m literally a blank canvas. Other than the hype of the film I wasn’t familiar with Angie Thomas and the hype rarely mentions the author and usually the cast. Ok, I’m pushing it in this case only Amandla Stenberg was mentioned. Plus, I don’t buy into the hype because I’ve watched films that have been highly gassed up and I’ve been everything but impressed with them so yeah… neutral face.

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Watch the breakdown

The book is about a sixteen-year-old Bri who wants to be one of the greatest rappers of all time. No ifs, buts or maybes she’s determined to be in the top 5. The problem is she’s finding it really hard to get her come up, whilst juggling staying in a school that has already decided who she is, and staying at home with next to nothing in the fridge because her mum has hit hard times. Her mum loses her job and is finding it near impossible to get a new one. What can I say this book is all about Bri and you can't help but become Bri when you get lost in this book. Bri reminds us of a sad reality that many young black people are existing in a society that has labelled them and put limitations on them from the jump. But also, that you are stronger than your current circumstances, no matter how hard it can be to believe that. 

Plus no sixteen-year-old is fully complete without their ride or die, friends. Enter… Sonny and Malik, they’ve been friends from the womb days. We get to know Sonny and Malik's business but we're not all up in it doing the most... Ok well, we want to be in Sonny's business but he only drip feeds the information in small doses. You only have to read more into the book to know that there is a conscious person in Bri's mind stuck inside the mess. Is Bri impulsive, sure, but she's also someone who reflects later on her actions. You can feel her discomfort when the kids around the garden are mimicking her bars, knowing that her lyrics could influence a generation in the wrong way.

The Come up is the overall goal, and I was led to believe that Bri wanted to come up as a rapper but she is actually looking for way more than that. She wants her relationship with her mum to come up she can replace the continuous nightmares and flashbacks she has of harsher times. And she wants to be known of her own back and not come up as someone’s daughter but a boss in her own right.

Favourite character

Aunty Pooh is one of my favourite characters. I really liked that this hood, dope slanging road girl roadgal (we all know she is not a child) was her niece's ultimate cheerleader. That side of Aunty Pooh, makes me feel that everyone needs an Aunty Pooh. 

---

“I let Aunt Pooh hear some rhymes I wrote, she gets so hype over them that she tells me to rap them for her friends. Trust, if you’re whack, a gangbanger will be the first to let you know.”

---

But she's such a complex character, I wanted to grab her by her shoulders and yell "the streets don't love you" when she left Bri to do her studio session without her because she had to buss shots/ sell drugs. A character like Aunty Pooh really questions my default idea that someone is either good or bad.

Every character in the novel was equally important though really bringing out Bri's character exploring how she navigates each relationship. The relationship between Bri and her older brother Trey is of an unbreakable sibling bond, and I felt very vulnerable to Bri and her mother Jay's relationship, which is slowly being rebuilt throughout the book.

It hit me when

It was confirmed that Aunty Pooh sold drugs. I found myself really questioning how someone could be so actively involved in the drug game when their older sister was at the other end of it at a point in time clearly struggling. I found myself being really judgemental and questioning her ethics. What was her thinking behind it? Growing up in my environment it wasn’t hard to have friends who were selling drugs, and I’ve never known anyone close to me hooked on drugs. I had a friend whose mum was addicted to class A drugs and she was in my circle but I suppose I never drew the connection to how it might have made her feel to be stuck between the two.

The inner struggle of Bri being in a position that made her have to question if she would be broke with dignity, or be a rich sell out really spoke out to me. This issue of integrity is not reserved for a certain age group and was a running theme throughout the book.

Is that how you’re feeling yeah?!

The whole tone of the book reflects life in Bri's surroundings. Sometimes bitter and sad, but also packed with a whole lot of twists and fun times to get you through. From experience when people talk about hard times in their childhood and past experiences it's not to evoke pity or get a response it's just about being real and for many people, it wasn't a "tough" or "heartbreaking" time because it was all they knew. I could relate to that with Bri on so many levels. Yeah, her upbringing had times she wouldn't have handpicked but she's using it as fuel to paint her own picture choosing rap as her art form.

Listen, there are certain parts of this book that are going to have you leaning over on your side bussin up because what you are reading is so damn funny. 

---

“But I guess Curtis is cute in the same way that rodents are weirdly adorable? You know how you’ll see a baby mouse and will be like ‘Aw, cute! Until that bitch is raiding your cabinet, eating the Halloween candy you hid from your little sisters?”

---

Imagine this is someone's potential boyfriend being talking about. I'm telling you now this is why you don't ask your friends advice about a potential lovers appearance until you are sure, no make that double sure, that you like them. Comments like these are why people get immediately walked into the friend zone.

My favourite thing about the book is how Bri takes words used to characterise her in a negative manner and she moulds them into lyrics and making them her own. You may call her a "hoodlum" or "aggressive" and she's using them in her rap content. The term comes up in the dictionary right next to black women, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. Aggression has such a ring to it when really the better-suited words to describe someone would be inquisitive or confident. There seem to be clear factors that decide what side you fall on.

You know when people say "There is beauty in the struggle" but you're in a house with 4 different layers of clothing and eating corn beef and rice for the third night in a row. Finding this beauty is harder than finding Wally! The book is a great reminder that there's generally a long process before the actual come up. You don’t think it’s weird that people suddenly go from being one slice of bread and egg left in the fridge broke, too stupid rich with millions?

Storytime

I think people sharing their come up journey is so important! My home girl went to an event recently, specifically because someone she really looked up to in her field was on a panel. And when the person was asked about their journey they pretty much said they stumbled into the industry and boom they are doing so well now. The person completely missed out the part where they had went to University to study the subject for however long, spending how many thousands of pounds on a course, and that they were mentored by industry people for a portion of time after. Why lie? “Why you always lying, oh oh my garwsh.”

The middle part always gets left out though and it honestly jars me so this book helped fill that void for me.

Length

435 pages. It took a little while for me to get into the book. But once I got into it, at chapter 3, it had my full attention. Any little questions that popped up in my mind about a situation were later answered. For example why Curtis lived with her grandmother. I'm proper nosy and the author really catered to that!

Who should read it

This book is for young adults. I can see the older generation not being able to move past the fact that Bri calls her mum “Jay.” and spend their time annoyed at little things like Bri’s relationship with her mum and overlook so much of the bulk of the book. Also if you’re into rap music but not too interested in reading books this is the perfect pulling factor.

Favourite quotes

“Petty doesn’t discriminate.”

“Not that Jay doesn't love the Lord, but she gets extra Christian at church. Like her Aunt Gina and Aunt 'Chele weren't just twerking to bounce music last night in our living room.”

Questions for the author

1.Readers know Bri’s top 5 rappers, was it one of them who reached out to her at the end for a collab? And which one? (C’ mon I need to know)

2.How long is Aunty Pooh looking at inside?

3.Can I get a script of Jay and Grandma’s ground-breaking discussion? (asking for a friend I know a couple people who could use it)

Now that the book is finished I want to do some digging and find Angie Thomas’ SoundCloud account because I know she's got some good bars.

Frizzy

Queenie

Candice Carty-Williams

Genre: Modern Fiction

Publisher: Trapeze

Can I just start off by saying the book cover actually bangs. My favourite cover ever. When I saw the braids, 2-2 baby hair and the big earrings I knew it would be my type of book. My big hoops starting clanging because they were so excited. You know like that!!

Queenie is author Candice Carty-William’s first novel. Don’t get it twisted though; being a new author doesn’t compromise the high quality and freshness of the story. Candice gifts us with the main character Queenie, who shows you the honest lows of trying to navigate dating as a black woman. The novel leads you on a journey that makes you see how hard times can impact your mental health. Sex, drama and friendship are the staples that hold this novel together.

This is not even a book, it just sounds like me and the girl dem sugar meeting up and filling each other in on our lives at one point or another. From the texts to the language used it'll make you feel super familiar with the author and the characters from the offset. The book is hilarious, frustrating, engaging and relatable!

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

Watch the breakdown

Queenie Jenkins has just broken up, gone on a break, from her long-term boyfriend Tom. He called for the break, not her! It’s the sort where you are single, single-ish for 3 months. Feeling vulnerable Queenie seeks temporary love from men in all different directions, who all bring baggage with them, (none of which seems to include condoms) that throws Queenie even further from the path she’s trying to get back on to. Meanwhile, she’s trying to hold on to her job working for a newspaper, with a boss who doesn’t seem to care about the ideas that Queenie is trying to write about.

A mentally very fragile Queenie has a strong support system with friends who are all very different but rally together to be as supportive as they can be. One can’t keep up with slang terms, and another is trying to finesse men in her spare time, but they make the funniest text group chats. Her grandmother, a strong Jamaican woman, gives her lots of affection in the form of absolute tough love. *Insert the saying* “you can pick your friends but not your family.”

Throwback moments appear in the book giving us access to Queenie’s relationship with Tom, pre-break of course. Why is there always that one person in the family that you shouldn’t let be around others?

Did I mention that you get to meet Queenie at the same time that a speculum does?

Favourite character

All of the characters are multidimensional and realistic. Queenie is the sister that you love with all your heart, but can’t stand at times because she does things that are so self-sabotaging and impulsive and you know that you’ll be the one clearing it up.

But hands down Kyazike definitely is my favourite. She reminds me so much of myself. Chapter 4 gives you the opportunity to really get to know Kyazike. Pronounced Chess-Keh. No, not Jessica with a C or K, she’ll get mad if you try to simplify her name in that way and you don’t want that type of problem. She’s out here living her best life with no shame. She is a major ride or die. Kyazike even texts like I do. Below is a typical Kyazike quote.

---

“So I must have been serving some any woman who’s counting out her pennies, and I look in the queue behind her and the buffest guy ever is standing there waiting”

---

In chapter 22 when Queenie and her grandmother are talking about Queenie getting therapy. Her grandmother switched the whole conversation and made it about her invalidating Queenie’s current situation.

It felt really raw to read because I know the situation very well. Be it a difference in a generation or cultural differences, but the mindset that I've been very much raised with is that you don’t “air your dirty laundry out” so you should suffer in silence and get on with it.

Is that how you’re feeling yeah?!

Be prepared to go through a range of emotions throughout the book. I cried when Queenie’s mental health deteriorated, I was on level 100 with my empathy and then cried again because it made me think about my own mental health which was really poor. I was disgusted and found myself shouting at the book when Tom didn’t support Queenie when his Uncle was openly racist towards her. And I laughed so hard when Queenie’s homegirl Kyazike explained the shamble of a date she’d been on. It's mad because one second I was crying because a section of the book would be sensitive and painful and then a page later I’d be screaming out loud with laughter.

Once I opened this book I couldn't put it down because I felt so invested and into the story. Being completely real I forgot on multiple occasions that it was fiction because it was so relatable and merged completely with everyday issues. Coming from London, born and raised, where the book is set I’ve noticed gentrification in places like Brixton. Too many times I've had to link up with my homegirl to cut her weave tracks out or get mine taken out. Also, the episodes of intense panic attacks that Queenie suffered made my chest tighten.

There is this woman in her 20s really trying to be on her grind and work on her career, whilst holding on to that and just about everything else by the tiniest thread ever. Her role in the media sector, trying to push for more diversity and pitch certain stories from her community really resonated with me. And what is mad is many people will read it and think it just adds to the book but many of us know it’s straight facts and actually far from fiction.

Understand my struggle. I read for hours in the dark using my phone as a torch because my light didn’t work but I couldn’t bring myself to put the book down and go to sleep. This is the first fiction book that I have read that mirrors my environment and terminology.

Length

392 pages including acknowledgements and credits. I wanted the book to be longer though, I became proper attached and I was not ready for it to be over. Also, I thought some sections could have been explored more, and I was left with the impression that some of the parts were a little rushed.

Who should read it

All the girlies. I would say in particular late teenagers to late thirties. I’d prefer my mum not to read it because I’d like to avoid the long list of questions that would come during and certainly after the book. Plus she has a habit of rinsing out new words she had learned so I don’t want her screaming “fam” or my “ting” at me constantly until she learns new phrases!

But especially those that need to learn or refresh London street slang, the book is a reflection of the times so you’ve got a while before the words become old and unusable. Ooh and someone who just wants to read something completely fresh. This book is unlike any fictional one I’ve read before.

Green light or oh no

Definitely green light, yes yes and yes. Buy the book, at the very least you have a unique book cover. I would recommend using the book as a gift. Buy it for your sister, your home girl's baby shower. Your bestie's birthday!

If you want a book that talks about sex it's a winner. But not just the fairytale sex, the deeper level. Greenlight it because it includes seasoning and well-marinated friendships, unapologetic grandparents, wastemen, and a woman trying to hold on to her shit.

Fun fact

I named my first car Queenie, except I decided to be extra and spell it as Q-W-E-E-N-I-E! Myself and Qweenie had a bond like no other.

Questions for the author

1. How soon can I get a Queenie sequel?

2. Do Tom and his new girl last?

3. What character do you see yourself more as and why?

The BIG quote

“I feel a bit like for a while I have been carrying ten balls of wool. And one ball fell, so I dropped another to catch it, but still didn’t catch it. Then two more started to unravel, and in trying to save those I lost another one. Do you know what I mean?”

Are you a  fan of the book 'Queenie'? And what are your thoughts on Queenie as a character?

Frizzy

White Fragility: Why it's So Hard For White People to Talk About Racism

By Robin Diangelo

Genre: Non-fiction, Race, Sociology

Publisher: Penguin Books

Robin Diangelo, the author of this book, first invented the term “white fragility” in 2011. The term refers to a state of racial distress, a barrier of equality, aimed at maintaining racial dominance and ridding itself of any problems/inconvenience.

In DiAngelo's words, "Though white fragility is triggered by discomfort and anxiety, it is born of superiority and entitlement. White fragility is not a weakness per se. In fact, it is a powerful, means of white racial control and the protection of white advantage." The book breaks white fragility into different subcategories with each chapter explaining the underlying sociological phenomena. The author has a PhD in multicultural education and has been a race and social justice educator/trainer for 20 plus years.

Seasoning Level

CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning

The breakdown

The title doesn't lie, Robin Diangelo gets straight to the point of exploring what she describes as "white fragility" in the western world. There is no small stretches or warm-ups it jumps straight into a full-on long-distance run. The book is broken down into 12 chapters addressing how racism operates and the effects of it. Chapter 2 “Racism and white supremacy” is an interesting chapter and explains that race is a social construct. For me, part of chapter 2 (pgs 15-24), should appear nearer to the beginning of the book, I'm talking introduction chapter 1, because for someone who is not clued up about definitions of race, the social construct of a race, and the difference between prejudice and race waiting until page 15 could be a little too long.

Forreal Forreal

I appreciate this book though. I see it as a step in the right direction. I've read various books about race and identity. Mainly by Black females, and most recently "Brit- ish" by Afua Hirsch and "Why I'm no longer talking to white people about race" by Reni Eddo-Lodge, both equally important books sharing their experiences.

It was easy to read the book 'White Fragility' with an open mind because I was definitely intrigued to read about race and racism from a white person's viewpoint. The book layers historic events, moving quotes and unparalleled anecdotes to explain the here and now in society. I'd always found it puzzling that white people, with a limited number of exceptions, have found it hard to talk about race and racism.

I remember a white colleague being on the phone to a black rights activist and he was stuttering on the phone in the lead up to mention the obvious when identifying the man as black. I later asked him why he stuttered and he admitted that he felt uncomfortable saying it. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why.

I'm a realist and whether people like it or not the facts from history have shown that in order to push for change you need others on board, especially those that benefit from the unequal dynamic. A prime example being the suffragettes. Ultimately men passed the law that saw some women granted voting rights.

The book is written from an American perspective, but reading as a British person the issues are pretty much symmetrical. However, some parts of the book might require you to pause and do a little background research. I'm clued up on the Civil Rights movement but have a little zero geographical knowledge on the US.

Favourite chapter

Definitely, chapter 5, "The Good/Bad binary" simply because I learned the most from it. This chapter addresses how racism has adapted in recent years and why it is thriving now. For someone like myself who sees things in black and white * no pun intended* it was beneficial to learn about the many shades of grey in between what I thought was so clear cut.

For example, many thinking of a racist person conjure up an image of the KKK. Diangelo paints the image that when people think of racism today they imagine the white nationalists in Charlottesville, USA. To be likened or engaged with those acts is to be seen as being a bad person. Therefore, avoiding the behaviour of that extreme somehow leaves you in the good person category. Another strong part of the chapter is it discusses popular “colour- blind” statements used by many white people, breaking it right down to the core explaining how damaging and ignorant they are. After every statement, I found myself rolling my eyes and depicting each time this had happened to me.

“Focusing on race is what divides us” I also learned a new term called "colour-celebrate". I was familiar with the examples used but had never heard this specific term. I call this the Monopoly get outta jail failed card term. It is recycled so often and generically used when someone is pulled up on prejudice and/or racist comment. I present to you my favourite one.  But... "I have people of colour in my family".

Yes, yes & yesss

The author putting her shortcomings out on the table, but also explaining the steps she had made to remedy the scenarios which I felt was extremely vital. In one particular scenario, Diangelo describes a joke she made about a colleague, during a work meeting when talking to her colleagues and a newly hired staff member. She told them “The white colleagues were scared by Deborah’s hair.” Deborah was a black woman with dreadlocks. And the new staff member, in particular, was left feeling really uncomfortable with the comment. She reached out to the person who was offended and listened to what had caused the offence and took steps to further her knowledge so she would not be in a situation like that again. People relate to others who are honest about their journey and the author admits that she is still on a journey.

The book also includes a large catalogue of research and study findings. The bibliography contains so much information for those that want to continue learning and reading about race and cultural experiences as well as past studies.

It hit me when

The book brought up a memory for me that I'd really tried to brush away. I remember going for an interview for an internship and feeling really positive. I had my hair combed out in a big afro and I felt proud. In the past, I tried to tame my hair in professional settings, but I left my house on this particular day feeling empowered. I met the person interviewing me, a white person, and I was really nervous. I experience intense social anxiety but I was also nervous because as it was my first potential work experience after studying. The interview went well, well at least I got the opportunity. But I remember feeling quite ashamed of myself.

About fifteen minutes after I met the person they asked if they could speak freely. I thought it was a positive sign and welcomed them to. I was told that when the person first met me I came across as having an attitude like I was giving them "my time and not the other way round".  I'll never know for sure why but it never sat right by me. Reading this book and remembering my inner conflict when I got the role triggered me, making me feel very awkward. I would love to have gone back and questioned the person to make them spell out what exactly it was that gave me the attitude.

Length

168 pages including the bibliography and notes. The book was a little too long for me, mainly because more often than not things that were mentioned I was very familiar with, but I am also very aware that I'm not the target audience for this book. I'd recommend reading it chapter by chapter, as you need to read each chapter and then absorb all the information as it's not a light-hearted and fluffy sort of book.

Who should read it

Everyone... everyone can take something from this book. Anyone who is invested in society changing and moving forward in the name of equity. I would love to see this on the syllabus in the UK.

But especially those...

Who refuse to discuss race because it makes them feel uncomfortable being in a conversation that could result in them "being blamed for what their ancestors did" (I'm not kidding I've heard this wayyy too many times) 

Ouuuu…

And those who comment under job postings that are aimed at encouraging diversity in workplaces, with the complaint that "the only people being hired these days for roles are people of colour".

You can't buy these EXAMPLES

So, I was out in public reading this book. A man peered over to view my book title, a white man. After he read the title he proceeded to let me know I was "scum" and a "bitch." I smiled internally whilst I tried to figure out how I could send him a copy of the book.

The BIG quote

“But race is the child of racism, not the father”

— Ta-Nehisi Coates

Kind of cheating, as it's not the author's but it's so powerful. It took me so long to really digest this quote. My understanding and what I hope this book imparts with the reader is that the social construct of 'race' was created to create a divide and a hierarchy but being curious about race and talking about it does not make you racist.

Have you read the book? And do you think it is important to discuss race?

Frizzy