The Lockdown Blues
If you are too feeling shitty, and further away from happy or indifferent at this time you are not alone. So right about now, we are going to own our lockdown blues.
I write this, honestly whilst still trying to gather my life, fragile mental health and whatever broken parts are lying around of myself together in some form. As I write this my Tulips residing in a vase in front of me are on their last legs. Petal by petal making their great escape, only to land on my desk, which represents my dreams of wanting to travel and flourish, and the reality that I’m not going anywhere.
Aside from that, I actually love watching petals and leaves fall down. There is something captivating about knowing that they will eventually hit the ground but watching them float in the meantime. Does it signal rebirth? Hmm, I mean I think I’m so far gone at this point that I’m trying to find some purpose for myself right about now anywhere. Do you find yourself doing that? Clutching on things to try and find some sort of meaning or sign.
Right, I’ve been M.I.A for a little while on my website. A combination of no internet, next to no motivation, and a growing fear of returning to something after feeling like I’d abandoned it. Guilt, I think that’s the right word.
Did I mention that I am also looking crusty? I had no lip balm at one point, so I was a hot mess. My night gown is now my everyday gown. When this shit is over, I’ve just deeped it, I’ll have to throw away this gown. It no longer represents a bougie Frizzy, who partied for her best friend’s birthday party in it. It’ll be renamed the Glo’ down Gown! I’m so sad! I would cry, but I’m actually fresh out of tears. I’ve cried so much, that I’m struggling to pinpoint what even set me off.
Anyway, I can’t report that I had a successful pre lockdown shop to LUSH cosmetics, or anywhere. The lockdown in the England snuck in with an evening address on TV by England’s Prime Minister, followed immediately with shops being closed from that same night.
I can say that I’ve rummaged my way through Netflix. Between finishing Homeland, The Crown and random Telenovelas I feel all Netflix’d out. What are you watching, and most importantly what do I need to be watching?
I’m writing to get myself out of my funk, and to let you know that if you are too feeling shitty, and further away from happy or indifferent at this time you are not alone. So right about now, we are going to own our lockdown blues. Then we’ll get around to climbing back up later.
Drop me a comment or email, if you’d like to talk. Because genuinely, you are not alone, and even though it feels like this will last forever. It will eventually pass.
What Is It Like Travelling During COVID-19
I don’t want to inflate myself but I think I could be called a COVID travelling expert. I travelled around South-East Asia all February and returned to England, just when they were slowly realising that the Coronavirus was going to be a real issue.
You’ve been stuck in your home country all year potentially at this point, and/or your strong stance of not going on holiday until Corona season is over is slowly melting away. Am I right?
I decided to take a walk back into the wild side and resume my catching flights and feelings behaviour last month, August 2020. I don’t want to inflate myself but I think I could be called a COVID travelling expert. I travelled around South-East Asia all February and returned to England, just when they were slowly realising that the Coronavirus was going to be a real issue. Imagine me strolling into Heathrow airport February/March 2020 to zero safety procedures put in place by England… no temperature check, COVID test… honestly nadaa.
The thing is throughout my travels in Asia, before I was even allowed to join the queue to receive a boarding pass temperature checks were done, and masks were compulsory in all airports. Every plane I got off, be it a domestic flight or international, there were people waiting with thermometers. They were seriously not playing. A major contrast to England.
Ok fast forward to August 2020, and I pulled up to Heathrow airport again to catch my flight. England’s 2M rule was clearly ignored when people and their suitcases were running past me on the escalators. But the airport seemed a lot more prepared. Before I even entered the airport there were staff checking that people had a mask on and there were cleaning stations just outside the departure entrance. The cleaning stations featured hand sanitiser, antibacterial wipes to wipe down luggage handles, and fresh masks.
Departure lounges and boarding gates had signed some seats as unavailable to space out passengers. And there were sign markings all over the floor reminding people to maintain their distance and everyone followed these until boarding happened.
I’m a ranter I know but… getting on an aeroplane isn’t like boarding a bus. Yooo, you’ve already paid for your seat, you are actually guaranteed your spot so why are people rushing and breathing near me? The airline I flew with, Alitalia who I recommend big time, called people to queue in batches of seat numbers but social distancing vanished at that point. If stupidity like this stressed you out, I recommend boarding the plane last.
On the plane, all of the middle seats had been blanked out, which I loved. However, the usual trolley and food opportunities on the planes no longer happened. It felt really weird. I basically had minimal interaction with the air stewards, and my throat felt dry. I’m talking in regards to short-haul flights, 3 hours and below.
I will say though if you fly business class like moi. *This was my first time, but boy I’m addicted* On my way back from my getaway I flew business class and I was given a real hearty breakfast. To the point that I couldn’t finish it all. And business class came with its own lounge. The lounge had a bar, food and real comfy classy chairs. I definitely felt more special… and COVID safer when I entered the business level.
Before you re-enter England there is a form that you are expected to fill in. The form states where you’ve visited, quarantine period etc. The queue to come back to England was long and had a backlog of people who didn’t realise they had to fill in the form and were trying to multitask whilst making the queue longer. That, I would say was the only inconvenience I faced. And this imaginary form, really hadn’t been well advertised!
In a nutshell, travelling during COVID is do-able. Considering, I went away in August, during the summer holidays which is usually busy travel period, Heathrow airport was pretty much like a ghost town. My thing is from when you leave your house you are at risk from catching Corona. Wear the mask, don’t rub your face, regularly wash your hands and be conscious not to be squished up next to people. Things like if the transfer bus looks full, waiting for the next one.
Will you be travelling this year?
My Lockdown Confession
As we are coming to the end of lockdown I have a confession. The truth shall set you free and all that. I know people have hoarded toilet rolls or stupid amounts of pasta. But I clearly had different priorities. When everyone was running in and out of supermarkets in the week leading up to lockdown, which started on the 23rd March in England, I was running to …
As we are coming to the end of lockdown I have a confession. The truth shall set you free and all that. I know people have hoarded toilet rolls or stupid amounts of pasta. But I clearly had different priorities. When everyone was running in and out of supermarkets in the week leading up to lockdown, which started on the 23rd March in England, I was running to Lush cosmetics. There I said it.
When people asked what I thought, I said that I believed the lockdown would last until July, and I prioritised my wellbeing over my belly basically. I woke up with a clear plan one morning and £55 later walked back into my house feeling oh so accomplished. Genuinely, I feel like life is all types of mad and I’m always crashing. But as long as I stay in tune with my emotions and fleek my self-care interventions, I’ll get back up and the show will go on.
I know I Skrrr skrr’d past the £55. Ok so I bought my usual batch of face cleanser and facial oil. It works, my skin doesn’t lie. Yeah, then I panicked after my initial purchase and bought another batch of both.
Then as I walked around Lush allowing myself to be hypnotized by the smells I came to the wise conclusion after having a management meeting with myself, that if I was going to be spending so much time at home I’d need to have regular bath meetings with myself so bought a couple or 4 or 5 bath bombs/fizz.
Then I remembered how lazy I was and that I found creaming after drying tedious so… I bought 2 body conditioning things. Life-changing! Imagine creaming in the bath or shower and being moisturised when you get out.
Right about now I’m down to my final few products and I might have had 99 problems during lockdown. But my skincare and self-care days weren’t one!
Tell me your lockdown confession in the comment section below.
10 Song Lyrics That Are Rona Relevant
In the UK, the lockdown has been extended by a minimum of 3 weeks. But hayyy, we move! Music has been keeping me afloat this week so it’s only right that I share some song lyric quotes that we can use for the here and now, Rona season. All of the tunes are vibezy, for our different Rona induced moods and personalities.
In the UK, the lockdown has been extended by a minimum of 3 weeks. But hayyy, we move! Music has been keeping me frizzy and motivated this week so it’s only right that I share some song lyric quotes that we can use for the here and now, Rona season. All of the tunes are vibezy for our different Rona induced moods and personalities.
“I need distance between me and them. Gonna have to teach me how to love you again”
Song: Madiba Riddim | Album: More Life
Rona Season meaning: Reminding people in public that they are going to need you to stay at least 2m away from you. Learning how to love again after not receiving a hug or human affection in what seems like forever.
“It’s just one of them days, when I gotta be all alone, It’s just one of them days, don’t take it personal”
Song:Don't Take It Personal| Album: Miss Thang
Rona Season meaning: “I’m not being rebellious, I’m actually sticking to this social distancing policy. So don’t get upset if you turn up on my doorstep and I ignore the door.”
“Thank yuh jah mi wake up dis morning, Got up an smile out when mi see it stormin”
Song:Thank Yuh Jah | Album: Kartel Forever: Trilogy
Rona Season Meaning: Thank you God for letting me see another day, truesay some people didn’t make it. Even though there’s a lot going on there are things to be grateful for.
“Red red wine you make me feel so fine, You keep me rocking all of the time”
Song: Red Red Wine | Album: Labour of Love
Rona Season Meaning: Red wine is making you forget all of this madness going on outside. “Oooh we’re out of red wine? White wine… prosecco, it all keeps me feeling fineeee.”
“I’m a savage (Yeah) Classy, bougie, ratchet (Yeah) Sassy, moody, nasty (Hey, hey, yeah) Acting stupid, what’s happening?”
Song: Savage | Album: Suga
Rona Season Meaning: You clearly have a lot of time on your hands so you decide to jump on this viral video wave. The #savagechallenge is popping all over social media. Just don’t do anything too rachet and bruck yourself, the hospitals are already full up.
“You don’t hit my line no more, oh, oh. You don’t make it ring, ring, ring, ring”
Artist: Cardi B feat. Kehlani | Song: Ring | Album: Invasion Of Privacy
Rona Season Meaning: These are the thoughts of a parent when their child is not doing lockdown with them, and you’ve sent their call to voicemail. No names but some of them want to talk to you every hour about absolutely nothing.
“Do not run your mouth no more, I can’t protect you no more, It’s out of my hands for sure.”
Song: Never Call Me | Album: Trip
Rona Season meaning: The piece of advice you give to your homie that likes to talk too much and refused to buy a mask when you originally recommended it. Homie has just called you to let you know that masks are now sold out everywhere.
“I don’t want no scrub, a scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from me”
Song: No Scrubs | Album: Fanmail
Rona Season meaning: Your thoughts after you allow your bored quarantined single self to sign up to a dating site, and realise after some cheeky comments, that the fools you are talking to ain’t shit!
“You be sayin’, “No, no, no, no, no”. When it’s really, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes”
Song: No, No, No (Part 1) | Album: Destiny’s Child
Rona Season meaning: Thinking about all the times you cancelled plans because you couldn’t be bothered to leave the house. Looking back in regret and promising yourself that once Rona is over you’ll say yes, yes, yes and attend all plans.
“If you a fly girl, get your nails did. Get a pedicure, get your hair did”
Song: Work It | Album: Under Construction
Rona Season meaning: *I imagine this part being voiced by David Attenborough during a Planet/ Wildlife series *After 3 weeks of living in pyjamas, females emerge from the wilderness and decide to take their flyness into her own hands. Queue the bath tub pedicure, and roaming through Youtube attempting to copy a hair style that looked easier than it was. (P.s: Don’t try finger waves I’m still stressed out about that attempt.)
Let me know below in the comments which one you relate most to. Sending you lots of Frizzy energy and love.
P.S: I got a whole lot more content coming for your head top so if you aren’t already… Subscribe!
Rona Madness: BPD Update
For the first time ever I feel like having Borderline Personality Disorder has prepared me for something. Big man ting, it’s about time! The uncertainty, panic and craziness are three things that consistently live inside my head so now that it’s out in the world I honestly feel more relaxed.
This week Rona season is not actually running me down into the ground. It feels mad typing this. But for the first time ever I feel like having Borderline Personality Disorder has prepared me for something. Big man ting, it’s about time! The uncertainty, panic and craziness are three things that consistently live inside my head so now that it’s out in the world I honestly feel more relaxed.
I also think that being a homebody has a big impact on how you find being restricted to your house. I like being indoors away from people. It makes my life calmer, and I don’t have to work on social skills. I’m so stink I know, I know… maybe after Rona, I’ll work on being social. Have you seen the meme where it says after the lockdown is over invite me everywhere, I promise I’ll come!
I got knocked down yesterday and had a long cry when I found out that a friend’s mum had died due to coronavirus related issues. I’m so sensitive to emotions, especially sad ones that I could feel it affecting my physically. I used the skills I learned in therapy to mellow me, but I’ve been bugaboo’ing my mum ever since. In the past, I’d let my sadness turn into a rage because I’d keep trying to squash it, but I remembered that emotions and feelings are likes waves, they come and go. So I let myself cry, I turned to faith and comforted my friend. I’m definitely more heated when I hear people are out and about for nonsense and bantering the lockdown. But I’m recognising the feelings rather than putting on my savage crown and ripping people.
One more thing I’ve felt over the past week is more present. I’ve started going on walks every couple of days and I’ve seen flowers bloom on trees. I’ve looked at daisies in the park and touched them. I haven’t focused on Daisys since about 2001 when I used to make daisy chains at school.
I’m ending the week feeling anxious and sad but it’s justified, so I’m not overwhelmed or stressed that I have these lingering feelings. Am I worried that my emotions will start bubbling and go into overdrive? 100%. But I’m also grateful that I’ve got a whole folder of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy notes for support, and a platform where I can write about how I’m feeling as an outlet.
I keep a couple of post-it notes on my bed just above where I sleep and one is so relevant to the times now. I recite it every morning… “Take It One Day At A Time.” The truth is that is all we can do.
10 Things It's OK to Do: Covid-19 Edition
I’m back, light-hearted and feeling wholesome, after a weekend with my phone off and Sims 4 as my companion. I’ve decided not to talk about travel today, I want to be in the here and now. Rolling with the waves really does sync up with good mental health. So roll on the It’s OK to-do list…
I’m back, light-hearted and feeling wholesome, after a weekend with my phone off and Sims 4 as my companion. I’ve decided not to talk about travel today, I want to be in the here and now. Rolling with the waves really does sync up with good mental health. So roll on the It’s OK to-do list…
1. To not have a full schedule of things to do each day. Yes, I said it this isn't a competition. We’re not on a camp retreat. Sometimes Netflix and eat all day!
2. Facetime bae or your mum for hours with absolutely nothing to say. Yes sometimes, I just stare at my mum like I haven’t spent the past 20+ years knowing what she looks like.
3. Walk around your house in heels. Major key, did you know it helps strengthen your legs!
4. Play Sims for 9 hours straight. Your optician might object but are you going for an appointment anytime soon?!
5. Ignore all phone calls and texts. Just because you've got more time doesn't mean you have to respond straight away, or at all.
6. Locate your DVD player and give Netflix a rest. The best movies are on DVD for sure.
7.Not wearing a bra, or underwear for that matter. We all need to breathe, Mind, Body and Soul… & all that #Free the nipps and pumpum
8. Fleek your face to the stars. Self-expression is not limited to the outside where there is actual fresh air & a motive. One of these days I’ll learn how to apply eyeshadow!
9. Stuff your face with a bag of food meanwhile over-worry at the same time that you don't have enough food.
10. Have full-blown conversations with your Teddy bear whilst ignoring the world. It ain't anybody’s business!
Rona Madness: Let's Check In
In a short space of time, around the world we have gone from being out and about, to “Please don’t go out too much”, to in countries like England and Italy “Oii get in yer house” And whilst I fully support the social distancing and lockdown plan, it can’t help but cloud the mind.
*In Adele’s voice* Hello it’s meeeee! Seriously though, I wanted to check in and find out how you’re doing.
In a short space of time, around the world we have gone from being out and about, to “Please don’t go out too much”, to in countries like England and Italy “Oii get in yer house” And whilst I fully support the social distancing and lockdown plan, it can’t help but cloud the mind.
I love being away from people so I was super gassed with the plan. I was doing the Charlton (from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s) side swings originally, but honestly, depression and the overactive thoughts have kicked in this week.
I’m aware of the pattern so I’m doing daily check-ins with myself, and practising techniques I’ve gained from therapy. I’m not a therapist, but I’m going to drop some gems. Each day I begin by being present and stretching. I haven’t mastered meditation yet so I stretch and listen to J Balvin’s new album.
Even if your mental health isn’t swaying into a sensitive direction daily morning check-ins are a good way to be present and set your intentions for the day. So even if you’re in your house riding this out by yourself, make sure you take the time to ask yourself “How am I doing, how do I feel?’
However you’re feeling each day, own it. And take it one day at a time.
Sending you some Frizzy love and light!