Forced Out
This book questions to the core how an establishment with such clear prejudice and racism can really protect and serve the people? After all, this book shows that they don’t even respect the differences in ‘their own’.
By Kevin Maxwell
Genre: Non-fiction
Publisher: Granta Books
Gifted*
Watch the Breakdown
Forced Out is a memoir/ exposé providing an insight into the day-to-day operations of the British Police Force. Told from the experiences of Kevin Maxwell, a mixed-race/Black gay man. Kevin Maxwell was raised in a working-class home in Liverpool with a clear vision of his future career. Regardless of other peoples views growing up he believed in the work of the Police and wanted to join. He followed through and in 2001 started working for the Force. That wasn’t before he received a phone call just before his start date delaying it. It came out years later, unknown to Kevin, that Manchester police had stalled his application because Merseyside Police had troubled his brother who was in the process of holding them accountable. His brother received damages but was never apologised to.
Kevin quickly learned that his expectations and reality of the Police Force were in two different parties. During his training a memo was put out telling the ‘ethnic’ intake to meet up for a photo shoot, it was for a media campaign to show the public the police were committed to equal opportunities. Kevin declined, but the racial divide was clear even from then. Throughout his years working for both Greater Manchester and London’s Metropolitan Police forces, Kevin was subjected to homophobia, transparent racism and outright prejudice, by the hands of the force. Resulting in significant mental health problems and eventually an employment tribunal, which took what little of him he had left.
This book questions to the core how an establishment with such clear prejudice and racism can really protect and serve the people? After all, this book shows that they don’t even respect the differences in ‘their own’.
Is that how you’re feeling yeah
More than anything else I feel disappointment. I’ve had questionable experiences with the Police, read articles, and seen way too many videos that show how police discriminate certain groups of people, but to read so clear cut from an insider’s first-hand account how they treat their staff and intentionally target people is madness. I hate tick boxing exercises but HELLO!!! This is someone who could have really helped the force. A gay, black man, from the hood who signed up to the force off of his own back, and the results. STOP IT!
It takes it from potential paranoia, and cases being the exception to really acknowledging these things have been the norm not unrelated exceptions. More than anything it highlights popular belief, particularly in Black and Asian communities, that the police is institutionally racist and doesn’t serve the people. Big things said there, I know I know. Let me back my views up.
As a nation, Britain looks at America judging their police brutality and racism but you really don’t have to look ‘across the pond.’ This book was written before the murder of George Floyd in America. This is the police that was declared institutionally racist after the handling of the murder investigation of Stephen Lawrence in 1992. This year alone it’s gone public that a Black bank manager is suing the Metropolitan Police for racial discrimination and profiling after a 26-month investigation that saw charges of firearms, money laundering and terrorism rise and is dropped against him.
On a side note, I appreciated the information but found the writing tone of this book to be really bland. the exposé was informative, but the memoir was dry, there was no charisma to it. The information and insight that came from the book are the most important, so I can live without it being engaging.
It Hit me When
I realised that the Police job is a part sales gig. To learn that they have targets and league tables was a real shock to me. I’m all here wondering if they get a commission.
“Being the best cop in the station no longer meant being the one who could talk someone down from the rooftop or comfort a family after the death of a young child. Now, the best cop was the one who made the most arrests, gave out the most traffic tickets, and produced the most paperwork.”
Call me naive but I certainly didn’t realise that there were quotas and targets to be met within departments.I found 2 things in particular to be chilling: Landing cards, Stop & Search procedures.
“A young black person is walking or cycling along a high street when he is stopped by the police. The reasons for the stop don’t matter. The officer asks if he is known to the police. The young person says no. Because this is how he is programmed the officer doesn’t believe this. After the officer has made his checks, the young person is confirmed as ‘not known’ and sent on his way. The officer, not wanting a complaint, places the young person on the criminal intelligence database by recording the stop. Now we have a young person who is not a criminal, and has never been in trouble with the police, appearing on a criminal database. Two weeks pass, and the young person is walking along the same, or another street. Again, he is stopped, by different officers. He is again asked to account for his presence and if he is known to the police. He says no. Technically, he is right. But to the officers, he has lied. The database lists him as known.”
To have a target for Stop & Search/ Stop & Talk procedures is so dangerous. When it is was broken down in the book it hit me how the system is really affecting people. People are ending up with criminal records and being listed on the criminal database for no ethical or legal reason. They are being dragged into a system. And one potential wrong turn during these procedures can have major knock on effects.
“In order to keep up their stop figures, my colleagues would attend the immigration desks, mainly when they were unstaffed, and take a handful of landing cards that had been filled in by passengers who had long gone. They would sift through the cards, looking for what they considered non-white names. These passengers would then be processed, using the information from the cards, and put onto a police database as if they had been stopped.”
Imagine you enter England at Heathrow airport, you fill in your landing card as per the requirement and go about your day. To find out that peoples details are being used by the Police wrongly, to help them achieve their targets is mindblowing. The book talks about officers who have chilled in the booths in the airport all day, not even being bothered to do their jobs and then like clockwork towards the end of their shift going fishing for landing cards. C’mon this is clear behaviour of people who believe they are untouchable.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
Length
332 pages, including the acknowledgement and notes. The book is way too long. The writing style isn’t engaging at all.
*Gifted by Granta Books
Consciousness
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When all the black squares disappear from Instagram and the hashtags stop being used I want to encourage everyone to continue to work on being more conscious. Your mind is extremely powerful. I’m not out here preaching I just want to keep us empowered and motivated.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When all the black squares disappear from Instagram and the hashtags stop being used I want to encourage everyone to continue to work on being more conscious. Your mind is extremely powerful. I’m not out here preaching I just want to keep us empowered and motivated.
I say this from the heart because I spent a lot of years on heavy medication for my mental health symptoms, that severely numbed out my mind. I compare it physically being awake but mentally being in a deep sleep. I can never get them years back but I can keep taking it a day at a time and moving forward. We have to keep moving forward, not 1 step forward, 10 steps back. WE are tired of all that.
But being more conscious requires sacrifice. You can no longer ignore or glaze over certain things. And that’ll result in moves like dropping out brands and restaurants that you thought you loved, but their values aren’t aligning with yours and they are showing time and time again that they don’t support things like diversifying their brands and taking action.
Are you willing to make sacrifices?
My Lockdown Confession
As we are coming to the end of lockdown I have a confession. The truth shall set you free and all that. I know people have hoarded toilet rolls or stupid amounts of pasta. But I clearly had different priorities. When everyone was running in and out of supermarkets in the week leading up to lockdown, which started on the 23rd March in England, I was running to …
As we are coming to the end of lockdown I have a confession. The truth shall set you free and all that. I know people have hoarded toilet rolls or stupid amounts of pasta. But I clearly had different priorities. When everyone was running in and out of supermarkets in the week leading up to lockdown, which started on the 23rd March in England, I was running to Lush cosmetics. There I said it.
When people asked what I thought, I said that I believed the lockdown would last until July, and I prioritised my wellbeing over my belly basically. I woke up with a clear plan one morning and £55 later walked back into my house feeling oh so accomplished. Genuinely, I feel like life is all types of mad and I’m always crashing. But as long as I stay in tune with my emotions and fleek my self-care interventions, I’ll get back up and the show will go on.
I know I Skrrr skrr’d past the £55. Ok so I bought my usual batch of face cleanser and facial oil. It works, my skin doesn’t lie. Yeah, then I panicked after my initial purchase and bought another batch of both.
Then as I walked around Lush allowing myself to be hypnotized by the smells I came to the wise conclusion after having a management meeting with myself, that if I was going to be spending so much time at home I’d need to have regular bath meetings with myself so bought a couple or 4 or 5 bath bombs/fizz.
Then I remembered how lazy I was and that I found creaming after drying tedious so… I bought 2 body conditioning things. Life-changing! Imagine creaming in the bath or shower and being moisturised when you get out.
Right about now I’m down to my final few products and I might have had 99 problems during lockdown. But my skincare and self-care days weren’t one!
Tell me your lockdown confession in the comment section below.
Self Care Saturdays
I'm a massive preacher when it comes to Self-care Saturdays. It's easy to look at self-care as a follow up to a bad mental health period but I now use it regularly in both the stormy and sunny moments, that self-care is now a firm part of my lifestyle. I'm sharing my simple but effective five-step self-care ritual.
I'm a massive preacher when it comes to Self-care Saturdays. It's easy to look at self-care as a follow up to a bad mental health period but I now use it regularly in both the stormy and sunny moments, that self-care is now a firm part of my lifestyle. I'm sharing my simple but effective five-step self-care ritual.
I like the thought of self-care being a 'prevention rather than cure' technique and find that taking time out for myself is a major key. It's such a mood booster to actively take time out of your often super busy schedules and to spend time treating yourself. Of course, self-care can be done on any day. Sunday is unofficially my 'Snack-seeking-Sunday's' as I try and load my stomach with cooked dinner from whoever feels in a loving mood, but by all means, make Sunday your self-care day.
Self-care doesn't have to be expensive. I used to think that things like self-care and wellbeing were buzzwords for the elite but I promise you that's not the case. A Spa day is on my list of ultimate relaxation, but doing up DIY spa at home can be just as soothing, I've got no shame in saying that many times I've been chilling at home with my foot soaking in a random bucket.
Step 1: Turn off your phone.
(Well not now, now) Disconnect from the outside world. No socials, no texts, no calls. It's easier to connect with yourself and be present when you remove one of the biggest distractions.
Step 2: Soak in a nice hot bath.
I picked up some Bath Fizz from Baylis & Harding (My Grandma loves the brand, which means they are real boujie) If you only have access to a shower get a real flavoursome shower gel and take a long shower. ( Blaze the showerhead on different body parts for a hydro effect)
Step 3: Put on something comfy, something that makes you feel at ease and settled.
I bought a dressing gown from Marks & Spencers for £30. I kept repeating to myself "You really spent £30 on a dressing gown what di..." Anyway, it is now my favourite item of clothing, and I refuse to be without it.
Step 4: Put on a face mask
. Face masks for me are more than just the physical process. The whole experience feels like a sort of reset. Also when you have the mask on you're forced to slow your actions all the way down and just relax. Then if it's a good face mask boom, bam your face is left feeling brand new aka "Tunn all the way up." I tried a new face mask this time, which I found really fiddly, but it was literally what it said on the packaging, a "moisture bomb"
Step 5: Bring out that comfort snack and devour it.
We all have that one comfort snack, or two or three, or four. *This is a judgement-free zone* I have to eat a crunchie bar, and I have a certain technique for eating it that I will only do when I am super comfortable.
When you're ready reconnect with the world, or extend your phone absence basking in your own company. Either way, you'll be left feeling happy that you took some time out for yourself, and reminding yourself that you're an O.G (Original Gangster)
Frizzy
5 Non-Fiction Books that school you on race and racism
People have been writing about race and racism for years, so even if you’re new to the discussion these 5 non-fiction titles will school you all the way. I’ve gone with a nice mixture because I know there are ‘different strokes for different folk’.
These non-fiction books school you on race and racism all the way. I’ve gone with a nice mixture because I know there are ‘different strokes for different folk’. I’m a sucker for killing random sayings. Point being people have been writing about race and racism for years. The latest BLM movement that re-ignited after the killing of George Floyd has had some thinking that race and racism just appeared in 2020 and that every Black person is ready with open ears to these discussions or to answer questions. We’re not! But here’s a good middle ground. p.S: “No Karen, this isn’t new.”
By Trevor Noah
Book: Born A Crime
Publisher: John Murray
Released : 2017
If comedy and satire is your thing then Trevor Noah’s Born A Crime is your ideal book. In England he is mix-raced, in America he’s Black, and in South Africa he is mixed or coloured. I hate that term but we move! Born in 1984’s South Africa, his being was illegal according to Apartheid law. The whole book covers his experiences throughout his childhood. One incident in particular addresses the fact that he wasn’t able to be out in public with his mum growing up, or his dad for that matter. His mum hired a coloured woman to walk to the park and places with him, and she would walk behind pretending to work for the woman.
The book is filled with humour and had real roll on the floor choking in laughter moments, especially with the detailed stories of his ever growing mischief but race is at the core of the book.
“Where most children are proof of their parents’ love, I was the proof of their criminality”
By Michelle Obama
Publisher: Viking, Penguin Books
Released : 2018
If you’re looking for an autobiography from a famous/ public figure then Becoming by Michelle Obama is they key! Yes you hear about politics and some fluffy moments but Michelle Obama knows that she is a black woman and she's been very clear throughout the book. The memoir documents her experiences coming from Chicago, USA and how microaggressions affected her growning up. She covers imposter syndrome and how she noticed White flight before her eyes as her area went from diverse to grouped radically. As well as the treatment she received by the media during Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. The book is empowering as she highlights not just the struggles and discomfort of navigating white spaces but how to thrive and give back to the community. She is a very hyper aware of who she is and what she brings to the table. Full review available here
By gal-dem
Publisher: Walkers Books
Released: 2018
If you’re looking for young people sharing their truth then this book by gal-dem is for you. 14 very different stories covering a range of topics detailing how they’ve grown up. You discover first hand experiences of sexuality, family life, love, identity and navigating life in the UK as a person of colour. What separates this book from others is that the contributors were not afraid to venture into typically "taboo" subjects. A real testament to breaking barriers and encouraging others to speak their truth even if it makes others uncomfortable.
Full review available here
By Robin Diangelo
Publisher: Allen Lane, Penguin Books
Released: 2019
If you are white and need to have your ego shattered by a white woman then I recommend White Fragility why it's so hard for white people to talk about racism this is by Robin D'Angelo. Equally, if you are not-white and want to learn more about race from a white person’s perspective it’s a good read. I don’t go out of my way to recommend White authors, on issues like racism I think it’s very important to understand it from someone's lived experience, however she has done a PhD and she has been giving training on diversity and inclusion for years. FYI she’s highly qualified and not blind to her own privileges. Full review here
By Reni Eddo-Lodge
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Released: 2017
If you are looking for an exploration through a very aware and educated perspective through a Black British channel then Rennie Eddo-Lodge’s Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race is your book. The book was born after a post she released went viral. She speaks from the heart but also backs up her views with litertaure and incidents that cannot be argued on. On top of that she has provided readers with notes and bibliography to signpost you to research deeper. It’s been called one of the most important books of 2017 and it's not hard to understand why.
The Hate U Give
Sometimes, you need to be shaken and woken up. It’s so triggering that 3 years after being published this book feels brand new and relevant to the past few weeks. I do like timeless books, but this feels like it’s timeless for the wrong reasons. This is not a knock on the author, it’s a burst of rage at society!
By Angie Thomas
Publisher: Walker Books
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
I read The Hate U Give one week before the murder of George Floyd. It’s been on my book shelf since 2017 but a month ago I decided that it was time to read it. If it was a week later, I doubt I would have picked up the book. If you’re a regular reader of my book reviews you’ll know that my book reviews are personal and involve reflections of my thoughts and feelings as well. Especially in the It Hit Me When section.
“‘Pac said Thug Life stood for ‘The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody”
Watch the Breakdown
The book is told through teenager Starr who is in the car with her best friend Khalil, who is unarmed, when he is murdered by the police in front of her eyes. It’s a real no play-play straight into the action sort of book. By chapter 2 Starr’s best friend has been killed and it really is the beginning of a spiral of events in her life taking place in and outside her community.
Starr already struggles with her juggling act. In her local neighbourhood, Garden heights, she is physically part of the majority, yet struggles to fit in. Meanwhile, at the private school she goes to out of ends, she is a minority and feels that she can’t be her true self. She fights an inner struggle dictated by the stereotypes and unsaid rules that exist in society. She can’t be too hood in front of her posh white friends, but on the other hand she’s not fully embraced in her community.
Someone always knows someone in the hood, and someone told someone something about Khalil’s struggles in the run up to his murder. The problem is the media are painting an ugly picture of who Khalil was, the city is rioting whilst they mourn another loss, and the kids at Starr’s posh school are using Khalil’s death as a cheap excuse to get out of school. All this is happening whilst Starr internally debates whether she should keep quiet about her being the witness to Khalil’s murder and let him go down as being another statistic in the cycle. She’s terrified. Terrified of the police, of the consequences in her area of saying what she knows about Khalil’s dealings, and of being known in her school as that girl who was friends with the lowlife the media made him out to be.
When a life is taken, we naturally focus on that person limiting their life and being to that incident and this book shatters all of that. It focuses on Starr who witnesses the murder, her family and their wider community as they adapt to this reality. It gives a real insight into Starr and Khalil’s family who have to come to terms with their loved one never coming back but also the opinions and justifications that people make up to excuse things like this.
“They finally put a sheet over Khalil. He can’t breathe under it. I can’t breathe.”
Is that how you’re feeling yeah
Angie Thomas’ writing style hooked me. This is the second book I’ve read of hers and she adopts the same easy flowing first-person narrative through the main character which keeps the whole story fresh and fully brings the details to life. The characters are consistent and lifelike which is very important, especially given a plot like this. Things that were mentioned felt true to their environment and didn’t feel forced. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the content in the book mirrored elements of the author’s life because of how authentic it was.
Don’t get it twisted, I really enjoyed the book, but I felt sad all throughout reading it. The activism moments made me smile, but all in all, it was a sad read. I get that reading is not all about feeling happy and empowered after though. Sometimes, you need to be shaken and woken up. It’s so triggering that 3 years after being published this book feels brand new and relevant to the past few weeks. I do like timeless books, but this feels like it’s timeless for the wrong reasons. This is not a knock on the author, it’s a burst of rage at society!
Ok, on a lighter tone back to how I’m feeling. I was fully down with the subtle living room conversations that made their way into the story. The concept of ‘selling out’ was explored in a couple of angles. One by Starr dating outside of her race and the internal conflict she faced as well as commentary from those around her who passed judgement on her. And also the debate her parents had about moving the family up out the hood to the suburbs. I’ve been in numerous conversations where the two have come up, and many have labelled someone as less black for dating a white person, or not as real as other black people for being middle class and living in different settings. You need to be there to see how tense these conversations get. Living in London and having friends with young children, the second point is a topic that comes up monthly. It boils down regularly to a thought of potential ‘diversity over safety’, but that’s a discussion for another day.
The activism part was electrifying. As a book aimed at young people and seeing how young people are helping to tear up the system and institutional stupidity, I loved it. The book helps give ownership to those coming up.
It Hit me When
It hit me when I really peeped how the media did their circus routine and how they portrayed the police officer and his statement. In one of the media interviews, the police officer who shot Khalil’s father was interviewed sharing stories about his son and highlighting how much he had been affected by the incident. The energy that comes into the system, of making someone a victim when they have taken a life is puzzling. Stepping outside of the book for a minute, the whole social media presence that I’ve seen online is maddd when it comes to murder. Specifically police brutality and the mishandling of Black people. I’ve seen disgusting comments from people on their keyboards writing about how a victims mother doesn’t look sad enough. I’ve only just noticed recently how much the media can really influence criminal investigations and it is really scary.
“One-Fifteen Sr. (The father of the officer who shot Khalil) talks about his son’s life before the shooting. How he was a good kid who never got into trouble, always wanted to help others. A lot like Khalil. But then he talks about the stuff One-Fifteen did that Khalil will never get to do, like go to college, get married, have a family.”
Length
438 pages. There’s also the Author’s notes that I strongly suggest you hit up and read plus the opening chapter of On The Come Up, Angie’s second book.
*Cough cough I’ve reviewed it. Right here*
Who should read it
The book is definitely a green light for teenagers, core reading material right about 2020. Especially, a good starting point for young people questioning senseless killings and police brutality. It brings more depth and experience into life in America for a young Black person, which I think all young people regardless of their background can learn about through the power of storytelling like this. The death toll is getting so ridiculous that people are becoming desensitised to it. But this book will fling the holy spirit in you making you feel and most importantly think.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
The big quotes
“ Good-byes hurt the most when the other person’s already gone.”
“What’s the point of having a voice if you’re gonna be silent?”
Have you read this book? What are your views on it? Drop your comments below!
Becoming
Honestly, I tried so hard to stay level headed but the more I read the more I got lost in the sauce. By chapter 2 I was captivated by the autobiography. Michelle’s story isn’t an “I was saved and luck put me on” type of autobiography.
Michelle Obama
Genre: Autobiography
Publisher: Viking
The Truth, and nothing but the truth
All I knew about Michelle Obama when I picked up the book was that she was the wife of Barack Obama, the first Black President of the United States. The end. I had no interest or knowledge of her as an individual but knew that everyone seemed to be really hyped over this woman. I was indifferent but in the back of mind thought it could all be overrated, like I’ve found other gassed up books. I’ve also read complaints online that people have rated this book 5* because of who Michelle is, rather than her book being able to stand on her own. I’m not American, or majorly in politics. Yes I’m Black and I’d be lying if I said having Barack Obama in his position didn’t ignite black pride, but Michelle’s book hasn’t got an automatic 5*… Nah you got to earn this All-Purpose Seasoning stamp! I had the book on my bookshelf for well over 2 years before deciding to read it. Fast forward to Rona season, May 2020 and like many I found myself with more time on my hands so I reached for the book. Totally coincidental that Netflix announced Michelle Obama’s documentary was coming out whilst I was reading her book.
The breakdown
Becoming is Michelle Obama’s autobiography. It’s all about the life of Michelle Robinson who was born and raised in South Side Chicago. Raised in an apartment, above her Great Aunt who taught piano lessons, with her parents and older brother. Michelle opens up her life, with even the smallest details from her childhood, her family members teachings and her journey to university and further. The most famous further being from 2009-2017 when she was the First Lady of the United States. Michelle paints her story in her own words and colourful it is. Including her heartbreak- the death of her father who had MS but kept on going right to the very end. And her career as an attorney in the type of buildings she used to be mesmerised by as a kid. The book is split into three sections: Becoming Me, Becoming Us and Becoming More, giving you her reflections on everything up to now.
Is That How You’re Feeling Yeah
Honestly, I tried so hard to stay level headed but the more I read the more I got lost in the sauce. By chapter 2 I was captivated by the autobiography. Michelle’s story isn’t an “I was saved and luck put me on” type of autobiography. I’m a detail lover and this book was definitely extremely detailed and written in a way that kept me super engaged. An example of nothing being overlooked is Michelle writing about every job she ever had. Did she run through her CV? Yeah, and I was here for it because I was able to see an overview of her progress and upward journey. My thing is if you’re going to give me a story you need to give me the full story. I don’t want 50% or even 85%!
I loved how through reading about Michelle’s life she went from being a person behind the glass to someone so relatable and in my case a wise aunty-like figure. The more I read, the closer she got towards me. Yes, she became the “lady in the White House'“ but she was also Michelle who had been about that life when she thumped the girl from her neighbourhood in the face. The girl was constantly being stink to Michelle so she levelled up the game. She was Michelle who let her man, Barack Obama, know if he wasn’t going to get used to speaking to her on the phone during their long-distance relationship she’d find another man “who would listen”, and she was Michelle who alongside her studies created a side hustle looking after the children of the staff in her university.
Michelle hasn’t forgotten that she’s black! Hold up, let me break it down before you say duh! I find that with a lot of celebrities and high profile people as they get higher they become or maintain silence on issues like race. The mindset that if they made it big then things like race disappear and no longer matter, but not with Michelle. She’s made it clear throughout the book her journey as a black woman navigating spaces, the demographic struggles, and most importantly for me she hasn’t used it for pity or to throw shade. And as she has risen she has made efforts to put a sister on. Be it by helping to hire them, celebrating and sharing memories of those that nurtured her, providing mentor sessions, or giving talks in underserved communities.
No competition though, her upbringing was one of my favourite things to read about. How her love of music came from her Grandad Southside who loved jazz and bought her first record. How she had regular piano lessons with her Great-aunt who lived underneath her. I was especially interested in learning about the way that her parents raised her and her brother. She recounted so vividly the tools she learned from early, and the family vibes she breathed.
“Even if we didn’t know the context, we were instructed to remember that context existed. Everyone on this earth, they’d tell us was carrying around an unseen history, and that alone deserved some tolerance.”
It Hit Me When
When it became clear to me of the many sacrifices Michelle made in order for Barack to get to his goal and overall vision. The times throughout the book where it seems like she was very much a single mother keeping everything together. You can tell she loves her husband, but she’s also not naive and put him on a pedal stool. She has reflected on the occasions where she has pulled back. She really invested, supported and championed Barack’s vision.
“Our decision to let Barack’s career proceed as it had - to give him the freedom to shape and pursue his dreams - led me to tamp down my own efforts at work. Almost deliberately, I’d numbed myself somewhat to my ambition, stepping back in moments I’d usually step forward.”
On a lighter note it also hit me when I realised Michelle had vivid nightmares like me. No joke, sometimes I wake up at 3 in the morning sweating, grab my phone or notepad and write out the horror I’ve experienced and then I pass out again. In her nightmare that she has written about the Secret Service have arranged a surprise for her family at the White House. In their garden there are 4 big cats: a lion, tiger, panther and cheetah. The staff assured Michelle that they were sedated and could be pet and as soon as the family went to touch them the animals started chasing the family. Listen, I don’t live that kind of lifestyle and she didn’t make it clear it was a dream at first so my jaw was hanging thinking about how crazy the situation must have been. Then she mic drops at the end that it was a nightmare and I was mad flustered, because I really thought it was real. Michelle had mt there. She’s funny, for sure!
“I saw the panther’s eyes tracking us, the tiger’s ears flattening just a little. Then, without warning, the cheetah shot out from the shade with blinding speed, rocketing right at us. I panicked, grabbing Sasha by the hand, sprinting with her back up the lawn to the house, trusting that Barack and Malia were doing the same.”
Spill the tea!
Barack baited Michelle into arguing with him about marriage at the dinner table before he proposed. He didn’t believe in marriage but for Michelle it was important. It was an ongoing argument they had and he wanted one last argument knowing full well the waiter was on his way with the engagement ring that he was going to propose with!
Who Should Read It
I think the book is universal, everyone needs a copy on their book shelf. I would especially recommend it to anyone who is questioning what they bring to the table because of their early beginnings though. And young black girls, of course, Michelle Obama is a role model to many but especially to young black girls.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
Big Quote
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously towards a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”
Have you read the book? Do you agree with me or do you think it’s overrated?
The Greater Freedom: Life As A Middle Eastern Woman Outside The Stereotypes
I’m not a newbie to the Arab world, I spend a lot of my time out in Tunisia with close friends who at this point have become family, so I wasn’t shocked by some of the examples that came up because I’d been shocked years ago when I first learned about them and I have simply adjusted to them. Don’t get it twisted, some I don’t agree with, and many I have questioned
Alya Mooro
Genre: Non-Fiction
Publisher: Little a
Watch The Breakdown
The Greater Freedom- Life As A Middle Eastern Woman Outside The Stereotypes, is part memoir and part social exploration into the Middle Eastern society. Written by an Egyptian-born and London raised journalist. Let’s keep it all the way a hundred the Middle Eastern society gets a lot of news coverage on topics such as terrorism, extremism and oppression. Voice’s like Alya’s are powerful in ripping up stereotypes and making you challenge even yourself on unconscious prejudice thoughts.
Taboo subjects are covered and addressed throughout the book, with chapter titles breaking down the topic: When you learn how you’re supposed to look, When you’re supposed to be with an Arab, and When you’re not supposed to like sex. You get insider thoughts, feelings and experiences of a culture that like others is coloured in stereotypes. A real honest and personal account of the author’s experiences, and through research and loads of interviews, those of various other Middle Eastern women navigating their way through this thing we call life.
“Alya Mooro grew up between two cultures and felt a pull from both. Where could she turn for advice and inspiration when it seemed there was nobody else like her? Today, Mooro is determined to explore and explode the myth that she must identify either as ‘Western’ or as one of almost 400 million other ‘Arabs’ across the Middle East.”
Is that how you’re feeling yeah
This book was an easy and flowing read and I enjoyed the book. You could get away with calling it an autobiography, as, at the heart of the book, it’s about the author’s experiences. Keep that in your mind, if not it’s easy to think that some narratives have been completely overlooked.
The book is simplistic in the way that someone who has no Middle Eastern friends can learn and on the other end someone with a lot of Middle Eastern friends can feel at home in the book and still pick up some things.
The chapter breakdown itself is a good talking point starter. The content is written in a way that speaks to those who connect through experiences, those who need to see facts and figures and also the bibliography kings and queens out there. It’s clear that it’s written by someone who works in the media world, not good or bad, but an observation.
I’m not a newbie to the Arab world. I spend a lot of my time out in Tunisia with close friends who at this point have become family, so I wasn’t shocked by some of the examples that came up because I’d been shocked years ago when I first learned about them. For the most part, I’ve adjusted to them. Don’t get it twisted though, some I don’t agree with, and many I have questioned which has resulted in really interesting conversations with friends. We don’t do this enough, asking questions. I don’t know if it’s out of fear, being too “British”, or maybe being bland and not inquisitive, I don’t know… but I think it’s important to ask questions.
In this 2019-2020 “funny tolerance” world, Alya could have thrown out all the amazing things about being Arab and her experiences, playing it safe and ending it there but she didn’t. She was real, raw and nothing was held back. I truly got the good, the bad and the ugly and ultimately that’s what was memorable! This book is all about learning about a culture and society from an insider - Not someone who had dipped into it, a scholar, or an observer. A real, this is and has been my life narrative. Her efforts are admirable and as Toni Morrison famously said: “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
One thing I did take away from the book is how liberal my close friend’s family are compared to many Arab families, similar to the author Alya’s immediate family.
It hit me when
One of the women interviewed talked about authority and how until you were married you were under the authority of your father. And then when you got married, you were effectively swapping your father’s rules to the rules of your husband and it left me with chills. I’m not naive, this is not a Middle Eastern specific issue, but to read how often more than not this was the case threw up all types of red flags in my vision.
“Ultimately, my dad allowing me to be myself is what allows me to be myself. That is a humbling realisation. That even where I am free to live by my life by my own rules, it was still a man - still my father - who was the gatekeeper to my freedom.”
3 Interesting Facts From the Book
In Egypt, if a man has sex with a prostitute and gets caught, the woman is put on trial and the man has to testify against her. The woman is then imprisoned.
Divorced mothers in Jordan are not allowed to remarry and must be judged to be trustworthy and ‘able to perform their duties’
In Saudi Arabia, women throwing parties to celebrate divorces are on the rise.
True stories
One topic that came up constantly throughout the book is the power and hold of opinions of those in the community. The judgement and fear of it. Since our friendship started back in 2012/2013 I’ve always invited my homegirl Rah to visit England as a holiday and stay with me. She always said “inshallah” but I realised over time that it probably wasn’t going to happen.
In about 2015/2016 her parents greenlit the trip, and to be honest, it was all a bit of a blur. One conversation I always remember though was Rah telling me that her parents hadn’t mentioned the trip to family or friends, as opinions from the family would put a stop to her coming. And there was me jumping back and forth between Tunisia and England without any parental consent or input.
“Friends are like extended family and you always feel welcome in their houses and their parents are so generous”
The above quote reminded me of a memory. Summer 2016 I had been invited to a wedding in Tunisia. I sorted out my outfits in England and then flew to Tunisia. As soon as Rah and her mum picked me up Rah’s mum was on a mission to get to the tailors. I wanted to catch a nap, but I got dragged along for the outing. Rah was getting some moderations to a dress, and I was just trying to stay awake. Anyway, Mumma signals for me to go to the tailor and I’m baffled.
Turns out Mumma had bought me, Rah and her sister Rym matching material in different colours to get dresses custom made for the wedding. For her “3 daughters,” she said. Yoo, I felt so loved. There are countless times I’ve been made to feel like a family member out in Tunisia.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
Big Quote
“To be free, we first have to be able to name our constraints and the ways we are held back from exploring our identities and from expressing our truest selves”
Before you open this book take out your phone or a notebook and write down what comes to your mind when you think of Arab women. It’s not a test or a trick, it’s just for you. Then read the book and come back to your initial thoughts, and reflect on them.
The Nickel Boys
Yoo from the very jump I was in a daze. Before I even met the main character I’d visited a human cemetery. At this point, full disclosure I’m a sensitive soul. I couldn’t pick up the book for weeks after the main character Elwood received an A* beat down by the school staff. Even now weeks after finishing the book the word White House has a whole different meaning to me
Colson Whitehead
Genre: Historical Fiction
Publisher: Fleet
Watch the breakdown
This book is my first read from Colson Whitehead. One of his most popular book’s ‘The Underground Railroad’ is on my TBR list. He also won the Pulitzer Prize for it.
In 1960s Tallahassee, USA, being raised by his grandmother, a teenaged Elwood Curtis is a ‘stick to the book’ person. He has a part-time job, aspires to be better, is passionate about his future and believes strongly like his idol Dr Martin Luther King that he is "as good as anyone." One innocent mistake, however, ends his plans to enrol at an all blacks college and secures him a one-way ticket to Nickels reform school for boys. The sentence…to be confirmed, you have to earn your way out according to the rules. Living during Jim Crow law times, the school was segregated and to the outside world would educate and train inmates to become law-abiding and honest citizens.
To those in the inside, the reality was far from that. Those who did not conform to the unsaid rules were given lashes, sexually assaulted, or taken out back to never be seen again. On his second day at Nickel Elwood meets Turner. They form an unlikely friendship with the two looking at life from completely different angles. Elwood living by Martin Luther King’s “Throw us in jail, and we will still love you” and Turner believing in an eye for an eye and that Elwood is way too naive.
The book is split into three parts. Part 1 covers Elwood’s life leading up to his entrance to the Nickel reform school. Part 2 is daily life in Nickel with all its bumps and twists. And part 3 is mainly what life after Nickel looks like for one of the characters. Which character? You’ll find out…
“I am stuck here, but I’ll make the most of it, Elwood told himself, and make it brief. Everybody back home knew him as even, dependable— nickel would soon understand that about him, too.”
Is that how you’re feeling yeah?!
This is a really intense book. I’m talking have you on the edge and it’s not a thriller book. Even though a fiction novel, to the core it is inspired by a real place, Arthur G. Dozier School for Boys, a reform school in Florida where horrific events took place. Boys were physically and sexually assaulted, with many unmarked graves being located in recent years.
Yoo from the very jump I was in a daze. Before I even met the main character I’d visited a human cemetery. At this point, full disclosure I’m a sensitive soul. I couldn’t pick up the book for weeks after the main character Elwood received an A* beat down by the school staff. Even now weeks after finishing the book the word White House has a whole different meaning to me. Every time I thought about picking up the book I felt so sad. The way that I felt you’d think that I had received them licks. On reflection, it had a lot to do with the fact that I had recently read a non-fiction memoir book of Lemn Sissay’s childhood and many of the topics overlapped. Especially how brutal some children were treated. Someone’s fiction is someone else’s reality!
I enjoyed reading the continuing inner struggle that Elwood faced as he tried to replicate and live by his hero, Martin Luther King’s values. On a personal level, my heart isn’t built like that I’m riding all the way out. But the way the book was set up with the opposing views of Elwood and Tuner it made me question my thoughts and where I stood on individual inequalities. For example, Elwood made a very bold/couragous/ stupid move, (depending on how you view it) that ultimately cost him his life. No matter how intense the book got, I was in tune and down for the ride. The book made me feel angry, frightened, helpless and also compassion, flicking through each emotion was a whole different story.
Part 3- Life after Nickel was the weakest part, I wouldn’t have missed it at all. I can see how it acted as a breather from the intensity and brutality of the story but felt irrelevant and jarring at times. I got enough from the prologue of the after-effects of Nickel and how peoples lives were never the same. I didn’t need the step by step walkthrough and it didn’t get any emotion from me at all.
“There was a weird thing to the acoustics where the fan covered the boy’s screams but right next to it you heard the staff instuctions perfectly: Hold on to the rail and don’t let go. Make a sound and you’ll get more. Shut your fucking mouth, nigger.”
Length
217 pages. That also includes a prologue, epilogue and afterword. I recommend reading the prologue again after you’ve finished the book, the words hit differently then. When I read it first I was just reading it to get into the book. Basically it was meaningless at that time, and felt like a passing news story. When you read it after, you feel the crunching of bones, the names bring up a face in your head, and emotion leaks from your body.
I’m someone who likes to understand how thoughts and feelings translate into art and creativity, and enjoyed Colson’s afterword. As a reader you are going to take what you want from a book, be it from your own life experience, triggers or preferences.
“To create the two heroes for The Nickel Boys, I borrowed from my own internal dilemma. The last two-and-a-half years have been a time of great division in America – these divisions and disputes have always been with us, but sometimes they’re closer to the surface”
It Hit me when
The whole book was emotional, but this particular incident stung for me. Okay, so there is an annual boxing match that gets everyone hype and gets a lot of attention. Staff and everyone get involved, ignoring the horrific surrounding of where everyone is it is something that many look forward to. On one occasion they even delayed someone’s ‘graduation’ because they wanted him to fight. The big finale is a white boy Vs a black boy and the black boys had won 15 years in a row, giving them a large sense of pride. This is the 1960s in America, where segregation is legal and black people are still found to be lynched by white people. Anyway, this year the favourite, Griff, is told by the prison staff to make sure he loses. Staff put major bets on the game. Griff if not the brightest bulb… Well, that’s being nice, his bulb just about works, but he’s a good fighter. After many blows to his head, dazed and confused he pushes through to win the match. All the black boys are gassed and extremely happy and he’s bawling. They think it’s because he’s so happy he won, but he knows where his story ends. The quote underneath really hit me.
“He was all of them in one black body that night in the ring, and all of them when the white men took him out back to those two iron rings. They came for Griff that night and he never returned. The story spread that he was too proud to take a dive. That he refused to kneel. And if it made the boy’s full better to believe that Griff escaped, broke away...”
Who Should Read It
If you want to understand the atmosphere in America in the 60s this will be good for you. Those interested in Civil Rights Movements and injustice come all the way to the front. Martin Luther King fans round up, round up. This is for sure a book club read because you will get some popping and in-depth conversations going. To be clear, if you’re looking for a light read, homie this is not the book for you.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
I’m going with mixed herbs. The jarring bits took away the all-purpose seasoning but the content was strong and made me feel so much.
Maerim Elephant Sanctuary In Thailand
When you visit Thailand don’t be basic and ride an elephant. You have to visit an elephant sanctuary and actually spend time with them, hands down it’s an incredible experience. I decided to visit Maerim elephant sanctuary for this experience.
When you visit Thailand don’t be basic and ride an elephant. You have to visit an elephant sanctuary and actually spend time with them, hands down it’s an incredible experience. I decided to visit Maerim elephant sanctuary for this experience. I actually read an article recently that said that due to COVID-19 many elephant camps that chain up elephants and let people ride them as a tourist activity have released the elephants and permanently got rid of the elephant riding seats. Small small wins! I’ll run you through my experience.
As always whenever I initially interact with animals I move awkward and nervous. Scrap that, it’s not actually limited to animals. As soon as I got to the sanctuary the group, there was about 25 of us, were given a briefing where they went over safety measures, which includes telling guests about an elephant kiss. I was shooketh, because I basically was told that an elephant might kiss me with it’s trunk. But the trunk is like a hoover suction and you could bleed. I thought “Hell to the nooo” and was stressed out for like 10 minutes. The sanctuary also gave everyone clothes to change into. You’re not going to win any fashion competition wearing it, but they are comfy and you clearly stand out to staff.
Once I was up close with the elephants, after being given a large bag of fresh fruit for them, all my worries disappeared. To the point that I wasn’t even putting fruit on their trunk and was feeding their mouth directly. I didn’t realise how much I actually liked elephants until I chilled with them. I’d been on a safari before, but this was a complete different experience. I want to tell you their names, but I’d be lying if I said I could remember. But the big one in the picture was my favourite, she was my home girl. We had a connection. I can’t say the same about the little elephant who had zero manners. She legit tried and then suceeded in teefing fruit from my bag. Her social skills were moving mad.
As well as feeding and interacting with the elephants the group had the opportunity to give them a mud bath, and then head into a lake with them to wash the mud off. If you snooze you lose, and I got stuck in the mud trying to navigate around elephant piss so didn’t get to splash around in the water with the elephants. The mud was mad thick and I weren’t trying to drop for anybody.
After showering off and changing back into my original clothes it was dinner time. Everyone in the group cooked either chicken noodles or tofu noodles. The food tasted good, but I will say that it was at this big-big age that I realised that I couldn’t follow simple instructions. My plate was over flowing VS everyone’s plate.
Throughout the experience pictures are taken of everyone individually on a professional camera so at the end you have the opportunity to buy images. This was proper one of those experiences that I didn’t realise I needed until I did it.
Interesting fact: Female Asian elephants don’t have tusks!
10 Song Lyrics That Are Rona Relevant
In the UK, the lockdown has been extended by a minimum of 3 weeks. But hayyy, we move! Music has been keeping me afloat this week so it’s only right that I share some song lyric quotes that we can use for the here and now, Rona season. All of the tunes are vibezy, for our different Rona induced moods and personalities.
In the UK, the lockdown has been extended by a minimum of 3 weeks. But hayyy, we move! Music has been keeping me frizzy and motivated this week so it’s only right that I share some song lyric quotes that we can use for the here and now, Rona season. All of the tunes are vibezy for our different Rona induced moods and personalities.
“I need distance between me and them. Gonna have to teach me how to love you again”
Song: Madiba Riddim | Album: More Life
Rona Season meaning: Reminding people in public that they are going to need you to stay at least 2m away from you. Learning how to love again after not receiving a hug or human affection in what seems like forever.
“It’s just one of them days, when I gotta be all alone, It’s just one of them days, don’t take it personal”
Song:Don't Take It Personal| Album: Miss Thang
Rona Season meaning: “I’m not being rebellious, I’m actually sticking to this social distancing policy. So don’t get upset if you turn up on my doorstep and I ignore the door.”
“Thank yuh jah mi wake up dis morning, Got up an smile out when mi see it stormin”
Song:Thank Yuh Jah | Album: Kartel Forever: Trilogy
Rona Season Meaning: Thank you God for letting me see another day, truesay some people didn’t make it. Even though there’s a lot going on there are things to be grateful for.
“Red red wine you make me feel so fine, You keep me rocking all of the time”
Song: Red Red Wine | Album: Labour of Love
Rona Season Meaning: Red wine is making you forget all of this madness going on outside. “Oooh we’re out of red wine? White wine… prosecco, it all keeps me feeling fineeee.”
“I’m a savage (Yeah) Classy, bougie, ratchet (Yeah) Sassy, moody, nasty (Hey, hey, yeah) Acting stupid, what’s happening?”
Song: Savage | Album: Suga
Rona Season Meaning: You clearly have a lot of time on your hands so you decide to jump on this viral video wave. The #savagechallenge is popping all over social media. Just don’t do anything too rachet and bruck yourself, the hospitals are already full up.
“You don’t hit my line no more, oh, oh. You don’t make it ring, ring, ring, ring”
Artist: Cardi B feat. Kehlani | Song: Ring | Album: Invasion Of Privacy
Rona Season Meaning: These are the thoughts of a parent when their child is not doing lockdown with them, and you’ve sent their call to voicemail. No names but some of them want to talk to you every hour about absolutely nothing.
“Do not run your mouth no more, I can’t protect you no more, It’s out of my hands for sure.”
Song: Never Call Me | Album: Trip
Rona Season meaning: The piece of advice you give to your homie that likes to talk too much and refused to buy a mask when you originally recommended it. Homie has just called you to let you know that masks are now sold out everywhere.
“I don’t want no scrub, a scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from me”
Song: No Scrubs | Album: Fanmail
Rona Season meaning: Your thoughts after you allow your bored quarantined single self to sign up to a dating site, and realise after some cheeky comments, that the fools you are talking to ain’t shit!
“You be sayin’, “No, no, no, no, no”. When it’s really, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes”
Song: No, No, No (Part 1) | Album: Destiny’s Child
Rona Season meaning: Thinking about all the times you cancelled plans because you couldn’t be bothered to leave the house. Looking back in regret and promising yourself that once Rona is over you’ll say yes, yes, yes and attend all plans.
“If you a fly girl, get your nails did. Get a pedicure, get your hair did”
Song: Work It | Album: Under Construction
Rona Season meaning: *I imagine this part being voiced by David Attenborough during a Planet/ Wildlife series *After 3 weeks of living in pyjamas, females emerge from the wilderness and decide to take their flyness into her own hands. Queue the bath tub pedicure, and roaming through Youtube attempting to copy a hair style that looked easier than it was. (P.s: Don’t try finger waves I’m still stressed out about that attempt.)
Let me know below in the comments which one you relate most to. Sending you lots of Frizzy energy and love.
P.S: I got a whole lot more content coming for your head top so if you aren’t already… Subscribe!
Girl, Woman, Other
I’m doing up an Issa Rae on the “I’m rooting for everyone black” so when I saw that Bernardine Evaristo was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize 2019 I was involved and rooting for sure. When she won I was happy. *Peers out.. is it safe? I hadn’t actually read the book at the time *
Bernardine Evaristo
Genre: Women’s, LGBTQ Literature
Publisher: Hamish Hamilton
Watch the breakdown
You’re introduced first to Amma, a struggling creative who after decades of being on the outside has her play, The Last Amazon of Dahomey commissioned by the National Theatre. The book begins with that, but it’s really the finale in what has been a long time coming for various of the women. 12 Black British woman’s lives are explored throughout the book leading them to the theatre to watch a new chapter begin. Some of the women have a direct connection with the others, and some very distant. How would you describe a Black woman? Would a Black woman’s experience be the same in the 50s, 80s, 90s, and even now? What are her traits? Her job? Who does she date? What is her bank balance saying? This fiction book covers the stories of Black women, with some including the known stereotypical thoughts but providing challenges and angles that make you look at the process of the painting and not just the finished picture. This book explores queer Black women and their communities, the widowed Black women and their journeys, the “stoosh” black woman who has had to work ten times as hard to get to her position, and many more.
“For the sisters & the sistas
& the sistahs & the sistren
& the women & the womxn
& the wimmin & the
womyn & our brethren &
our bredrin & our brothers
& our bruvs & our men & our mandem & the
LGBTQI+ members of the human family”
Is that how you’re feeling yeah?!
I channelled Issa Rae on the “I’m rooting for everyone black” so when I saw that Bernardine Evaristo was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize 2019 I was involved and rooting for her. When she won I was happy. *Peers out.. is it safe? I hadn’t actually read the book at the time * But she did it for the people dem! I’m writing this review after reading the book for the second time. 6 months apart.
Some won’t understand why I pledged such an allegiance. I’ll ask you to look back at how many Black women, let alone Black people have been longlisted or shortlisted in the past 50 years for this prize. Or even going deeper, how many books have you read where Black women have been the front, centre and left and aren’t labelled as a niche genre.
Bernardine has managed to smash down and incorporate a realistic version of the ever evolving different black women. She’s shown us individuals journeys, sprinkled in a variety of cultures and dashed them all in the English pot.
I learned about communities of people that aren’t in my circle and it served as a good reminder that yes I have the race element in common with Black women, but there are other categories and sections that I know completely nothing about.
I loved, loved, loved this book. Yes, there was a point that I started to lose focus. When too many names and characters come up it makes my head fuzz, and my one down point of the book is that it had too many characters. But, the characters felt real, some even a little too real and when it came round full circle it all made sense to me. Bernardine’s style of writing in this book is curly haired and flowing which I really appreciated. As a reader you’re not having to focus on full stops and perfect punctuation and it matched the content of the book.
Favourite Chapter
My favourite chapters were those that focused on the older women. They felt more gripping and detailed. Bummi’s chapter in particular I really loved. I’ve been a Yazz, I entered the wokeness, it’s a continuous journey to stay woke. And I’ve known a few too many LaTisha’s growing up but, seeing the world and experiencess through Hattie, Grace, Bummi and Winsome really pulled me all the way into the book. I try to break the cycle, but it’s so easy to label your mum and grandma, forgetting that they had a life before you and they also have a whole side of them that exists away from you. These characters reminded me of the different angles and behaviours that can happen at any age and made the characters so relatable. On the other hand, it also provided that extra context to understand why people think and act in a certain way. Bummi was a perfect example of this - I understood Bummi’s vision and dreams for her daughter in England on an emotional level because the chapter opened up Bummi’s childhood. Instead of seeing a parent pushing her dreams on to her child as a form of dictatorship, I saw a woman who would die for her child and genuinely wanted to see her shine.
“Carole, have I raised a fighter or a quitter?
you must return to the university and get
your degree by hook or by crook or I
cannot vouch for the consequences of my actions”
Character Wildness
If I could sum up my thoughts of some of the characters in a hashtag.
Winsome- #You did what now?
Penelope- #Ya average racist… next!
Amma - #Badass for life
Dominique - #You are stronger than your situation
Carole - #A rose grew from the concrete
Length
453 pages later and I can say with my chest that the book was a banger. Bernardine’s artistic ways are so magical.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
The maximum seasoning that marinated overnight for that extra sauciness. I definitely tasted some scotch bonnet in there and fresh cinammon.
Questions for the author
1. Will Amma ever move to America?
2. Is Shirley going to ease up on her students now that she finally got her gratitude?
3. Who is your favourite character and why?
The BIG quote
“While troublemaking on the periphery’s all well and good, we also have to make a difference inside the mainstream, we all pay taxes that fund these theatres, right? ”
Rona Madness: BPD Update
For the first time ever I feel like having Borderline Personality Disorder has prepared me for something. Big man ting, it’s about time! The uncertainty, panic and craziness are three things that consistently live inside my head so now that it’s out in the world I honestly feel more relaxed.
This week Rona season is not actually running me down into the ground. It feels mad typing this. But for the first time ever I feel like having Borderline Personality Disorder has prepared me for something. Big man ting, it’s about time! The uncertainty, panic and craziness are three things that consistently live inside my head so now that it’s out in the world I honestly feel more relaxed.
I also think that being a homebody has a big impact on how you find being restricted to your house. I like being indoors away from people. It makes my life calmer, and I don’t have to work on social skills. I’m so stink I know, I know… maybe after Rona, I’ll work on being social. Have you seen the meme where it says after the lockdown is over invite me everywhere, I promise I’ll come!
I got knocked down yesterday and had a long cry when I found out that a friend’s mum had died due to coronavirus related issues. I’m so sensitive to emotions, especially sad ones that I could feel it affecting my physically. I used the skills I learned in therapy to mellow me, but I’ve been bugaboo’ing my mum ever since. In the past, I’d let my sadness turn into a rage because I’d keep trying to squash it, but I remembered that emotions and feelings are likes waves, they come and go. So I let myself cry, I turned to faith and comforted my friend. I’m definitely more heated when I hear people are out and about for nonsense and bantering the lockdown. But I’m recognising the feelings rather than putting on my savage crown and ripping people.
One more thing I’ve felt over the past week is more present. I’ve started going on walks every couple of days and I’ve seen flowers bloom on trees. I’ve looked at daisies in the park and touched them. I haven’t focused on Daisys since about 2001 when I used to make daisy chains at school.
I’m ending the week feeling anxious and sad but it’s justified, so I’m not overwhelmed or stressed that I have these lingering feelings. Am I worried that my emotions will start bubbling and go into overdrive? 100%. But I’m also grateful that I’ve got a whole folder of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy notes for support, and a platform where I can write about how I’m feeling as an outlet.
I keep a couple of post-it notes on my bed just above where I sleep and one is so relevant to the times now. I recite it every morning… “Take It One Day At A Time.” The truth is that is all we can do.
10 Things It's OK to Do: Covid-19 Edition
I’m back, light-hearted and feeling wholesome, after a weekend with my phone off and Sims 4 as my companion. I’ve decided not to talk about travel today, I want to be in the here and now. Rolling with the waves really does sync up with good mental health. So roll on the It’s OK to-do list…
I’m back, light-hearted and feeling wholesome, after a weekend with my phone off and Sims 4 as my companion. I’ve decided not to talk about travel today, I want to be in the here and now. Rolling with the waves really does sync up with good mental health. So roll on the It’s OK to-do list…
1. To not have a full schedule of things to do each day. Yes, I said it this isn't a competition. We’re not on a camp retreat. Sometimes Netflix and eat all day!
2. Facetime bae or your mum for hours with absolutely nothing to say. Yes sometimes, I just stare at my mum like I haven’t spent the past 20+ years knowing what she looks like.
3. Walk around your house in heels. Major key, did you know it helps strengthen your legs!
4. Play Sims for 9 hours straight. Your optician might object but are you going for an appointment anytime soon?!
5. Ignore all phone calls and texts. Just because you've got more time doesn't mean you have to respond straight away, or at all.
6. Locate your DVD player and give Netflix a rest. The best movies are on DVD for sure.
7.Not wearing a bra, or underwear for that matter. We all need to breathe, Mind, Body and Soul… & all that #Free the nipps and pumpum
8. Fleek your face to the stars. Self-expression is not limited to the outside where there is actual fresh air & a motive. One of these days I’ll learn how to apply eyeshadow!
9. Stuff your face with a bag of food meanwhile over-worry at the same time that you don't have enough food.
10. Have full-blown conversations with your Teddy bear whilst ignoring the world. It ain't anybody’s business!
Rona Madness: Let's Check In
In a short space of time, around the world we have gone from being out and about, to “Please don’t go out too much”, to in countries like England and Italy “Oii get in yer house” And whilst I fully support the social distancing and lockdown plan, it can’t help but cloud the mind.
*In Adele’s voice* Hello it’s meeeee! Seriously though, I wanted to check in and find out how you’re doing.
In a short space of time, around the world we have gone from being out and about, to “Please don’t go out too much”, to in countries like England and Italy “Oii get in yer house” And whilst I fully support the social distancing and lockdown plan, it can’t help but cloud the mind.
I love being away from people so I was super gassed with the plan. I was doing the Charlton (from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s) side swings originally, but honestly, depression and the overactive thoughts have kicked in this week.
I’m aware of the pattern so I’m doing daily check-ins with myself, and practising techniques I’ve gained from therapy. I’m not a therapist, but I’m going to drop some gems. Each day I begin by being present and stretching. I haven’t mastered meditation yet so I stretch and listen to J Balvin’s new album.
Even if your mental health isn’t swaying into a sensitive direction daily morning check-ins are a good way to be present and set your intentions for the day. So even if you’re in your house riding this out by yourself, make sure you take the time to ask yourself “How am I doing, how do I feel?’
However you’re feeling each day, own it. And take it one day at a time.
Sending you some Frizzy love and light!
Back to Black
Back To Black is a really blunt, taking no prisoners, educational book. Did I enjoy reading it? Hmm, as a kid I didn’t enjoy having to eat an orange when I wanted to yam down a pack of Chewit sweets but it was beneficial and I’m thankful I did.
By Kehinde Andrews
Genre: Non-Fiction
Publisher: Zed Books
*Gifted*
Watch the Breakdown
This book is a real home schooling, exploring the history of black radical politics, and breaking down how things such as Marxism tie in with the Black Panther Party. Plus it breaks down the differences between things such as narrow and cultural nationalism and pan-Africanism. The book gives a real in-depth exploration and critique of movements in the UK and US throughout the 21st century and aims to provide a blueprint to make a significant change.
“Black radicalism is one of the most optimistic politics that exists. While recognising the totality of oppression that Black people face, it refuses to lose faith that the problem of racism can be solved.”
Is that how you’re feeling yeah
Back To Black is a real blunt, taking no prisoners, educational book. Did I enjoy reading it? Hmm, as a kid I didn’t enjoy having to eat an orange when I wanted to yam down a pack of Chewit sweets but it was beneficial and I’m thankful I did. If you finish this book and haven’t come out with notes and research points then you haven’t read it properly. I had so many notes that I lost some. Seriously I was a mess, running around with pieces of paper.
This book is without doubt an uncompromising and very in-depth look over black movements and politics throughout the 21st century. When reading it it’s very clear how well structured it is and researched. Forreal forreal I think it’ll go over a lot of peoples heads though. Many people like to hear how things can change but do they really want to be in the work, hmm not overly! As Kehinde mentioned, to achieve a whole override of the system, it’ll require bold sacrafices from many and that is where the eyebrows start dancing and people say “hmm, yeah about that.”
“History suggests that once people are doing better they are less likely to revolt against a system they are making gains in”
Kehinde’s book reminds me of my pups and his advice (that I’ve never directly asked for)… It’s always right and nessecary but it takes a while for me to absorb the full power of the message.
I will say though, since I’ve read this book I’ve found myself more able to engage in political conversations and I’ve been recommending the book to people without even trying to, so it’s clearly unconciously left a mark on me. Because it’s written in a very academic tone, if you’re not a big time reader or academic I can see it being a struggle to read the whole book, even though you could very well share the same views.
It was real interesting to read from a critical point of view the ideas and movements of key black figures like Marcus Garvey, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X.
A niggling thought... I’m like Frizzy don’t say it, dont be petty, but here it goes. The book is about black people and black radicalism so I feel conflicted as to why I’m seeing Russell Brand's quote and opinion of the book featured on the cover. Full honesty, though I did first hear about Kehinde Andrew on Russell Brand's podcast. A friend recommended I listen to that specfic episode.
“The Field Negro is authentic because they embrace the politics of revolution, whilst the House Negro ‘is out of his mind’ because they are committed to the system that is oppressing them.”
It Hit me when
The whole book hits me. I have learned new things in every chapter, or at the very minimum deepened my understanding of certain topics.
The topic of respectability politics stands out. It’s the notion of black people needing to act in a certain way. A good example would be Rosa Parks Vs Claudette Colvin. Everyone knows Rosa Parks, but how many people know of Claudette?
Nine months before Rosa, fifteen year old Claudette refused to give up her seat for a white person, but was pregnant. She was “too much the stereotype” to be seen as the first or fully supported by her peers.
This happens so often in the workplace up to now. I’ve been in situations and witnessed others being told that they can’t be too loud, too opinionated or showcase any of the stereotypes that follow black people. You’re expected to act deserving that you’re in mainstream/white spaces.
Length
331 pages and that includes the bibliography/ source notes and also index pages. It took me 2 months to read the book. Inna real life, I had to read pages, then re-read them and then sip on my peppermint tea to digest.
“There was little pretence of equality in the West; until 1965 it was legal to discriminate on grounds of race in Britain.”
Seasoning Level
All purpose seasoned. This book is really mentally stimulating, them rewarding big brain workouts there. I’ve got a lot of time for Kehinde Andrews. He’s unapologetic, he loves his people and is committed to enlightening us. He wants to see black people in a better place.
The Big Quote
“We can only judge our success by how far we have improved the condition of the black nation. Calling yourself an African, wearing Kente cloth and celebrating Kwanzaa is a lifestyle choice not an achievement”
*Gifted by Zed Books in partnership with Black British Bloggers
A Frizzy Weekend In… Toulouse
A couple of years back, after celebrating a significant birthday in Mexico I told myself that I would spend every birthday abroad. About that plan, it crashed and failed! But on my last birthday, I woke up 2 days before and alongside my sister said “Yo, peace out England. Hi Toulouse!”
First Impressions
I left England in 9-degree rainy weather and I touched down to 30 degrees. My turtle neck top was stuck to me so I was 50 shades of flustered. I noticed how clean the streets were though.
What I Did
Treated a boujie Seafood restaurant like a strip club on my birthday. I was throwing euros down on all type of seafood that I’d never tried before! Clam, clam, sea snail… oui oui, euro, euro… splash. I’m sure I endangered the seafood species because I was eating all sorts non- stop. Oh yeah, and I dropped a whole seafood platter. Oops!
Chilled by Pont Neuf river day and night. During the night time, it gets super lively, with food and music. And during the day it’s really calming to just chill there with a takeaway.
Visited staple places such as La Capitole and the Basilica of Saint Sernin. The buildings were cute. I didn’t learn about the history behind the buildings or anything. Sometimes just stare and admire.
Spent half a day in the Jardin Du Japonais reading and being mesmerized by the view. If you do only thing in Toulouse, you have to visit these gardens. Honestly, they are so beautiful.
Stumbled into some random graffiti street art district and fell in love. The road is called Rue de Gramat.
Food
I’m a seafood lover so Toulouse was the shiz-naii-ee no flies around. The food was fresh, I was forever full up. And I literally had my cake and could eat it too. There are also a lot of Senegalese restaurants so you can get your West African food fix. Senegalese fish is prestige!!! They seem to run on Black people time so don’t rush there at 6.30 pm when they have just opened at 6.pm, because they just might be closed.
Food Spot Recommendations
Brasserie, Les Boux Arts: The Fishmonger Platter
Black Lemon: Carrot Cake and the best smoothies.
Wrap Up
Toulouse was actually amazing. It was quirky, tasty, and it was super relaxing. You will not be disappointed spending your birthday there and it’s also the perfect location for solo travels. Everywhere is so easy to get to which makes a first trip there extra nice. I would go back, I think it’s perfect if you’re there for a good time, not a long time.
I cried in the lead up to my birthday because I felt miserable that I’d be in England on yet another year. After my breakdown session, I G’d up and went on Skyscanner and checked for the cheapest flights out of the UK. Random places like Luxemburg came up. 4th on the list was Toulouse and I just ran with it. I’m really happy that I chose this city.
A Frizzy Weekend In… Dusseldorf
Have you heard the saying, “Home is Where the Heart is?” Well, that’s how I ended up in Dusseldorf for the weekend. I’ve never been interested in visiting Germany, but I’ll go wherever my loved ones are. And my favourite Tunisian lives there.
First Impressions
I felt indifferent when I arrived. Dusseldorf just came across as a plain jane. Saying that I arrived after missing my initial flight, which zoned me out. When I arrived in the city centre I realised how cold the city really was. The city was busy, but not London, overwhelmingly busy, and I needed that.
What I Did
Well, I filled my belly at the Christmas/Winter markets. It clearly goes down at these markets. I got me some gingerbread!
I let my inner child out and played with bubbles by the London eye looking Ferris wheel. It felt so good, I can’t say children’s parents felt my vibes though haha.
I ended up in some haunted “danger-danger high voltage” zone. My homegirl took me to see what was supposed to be Dusseldorf’s sweetest spot, the Rhine Tower. But because google maps clearly pranked her we ended up in a deserted industrial zone that looked like a scene from a horror movie. We all know who gets killed in these horror movies first!
Food
I’m definitely a fan of the schnitzel. I became a believer during this trip. I was nervous about eating out because I thought it would be pork central in every meal, and I don’t eat the swine! Meals in Dusseldorf were basic though, can’t say I had high hopes though because I’d be lying. Major lack of seasoning!
I would recommend Hexe Bolker 4 in Altstadt though for dinner and to catch a vibe! I can vouch for the Chicken Escalope Schnitzel with Peppercorn sauce and fries.
Wrap Up
Dusseldorf was ayt. I liked that that I didn’t need to leave out early and come back in the evening to experience the city. It felt really refreshing to not have a pre planned list, or to have to fit things in. Dusseldorf allowed me Netflix and chill time, which is forever favourite of mine. And them 9 hour sleeps, ouuu they were the one.
Everyone seemed chilled and I felt comfortable roaming the city. Then again I don’t speak a word of German so if the people were cussing me I wouldn’t know aha.
I’ll visit again for love. I’m still indifferent, swinging to a like but definitely not in love with the city!
To Lahore, With Love
Every chapter is named after and features a recipe, which sets the tone for the chapter. If you want to secure your bae then you’ll need some ‘commitment cake’, and if you’ve done someone wrong try out ‘Forgive-Me Bitter Gourd.’ If you’ve had your heart broken and you are feeling fragile try out the ‘Stay Strong Chicken Yakhni Soup.’
By Hina Belitz
Genre: Religious Fiction
Publisher: Headline Review
*Gifted*
Watch the Breakdown
Addy Mayford has always struggled with her identity. Brought up in a household of stories, food and faith by her Irish mother and Pakistani Nana, she feels constantly torn between the two sides of her upbringing. Since the death of her father, she's found contentment cooking delicious recipes from his home city of Lahore, despite the protestations of her mother that being a chef is no career for a young woman. It's only with the love of her gorgeous husband, Gabe, that she's truly found happiness. (Taken from publishers)
Plot twist, about as quickly as you can read the paragraph above Addy’s life flips from Instagram perfect to WTF. The book is broken down into 3 parts: before, the day, and after. The happiness Addy thought she’d found gets crushed when she suspects her husband is cheating on her. And then he decides to leave, saying that he needs space.
Millions of tears and plenty of Stay Strong Chicken Yakhni soups later Nana makes an executive decision that Addy needs to go to Lahore. Addy travels to Lahore to escape her bitter new reality in London alongside her best friend, and Nana (who invited herself along.) During her trip she discovers herself and a real love for her father’s land, but also discovers an extended family secret that knocks her breathless and changes her life as she knows it.
Side note: (I know, I know R Kelly is blacklisted) but… the prologue of this book reminds me of his ‘Trapped in the Closet’ Chapter 1-12 music videos that had everyone gripped for ages.
Is that how you’re feeling yeah
I’m feeling like the book absolutely banged. Point, blank period, I really loved this book. It takes you on a journey of identity searching, mixed heritage exploration and food galore. Yes, yes and yes. Major excitement as I report that the story was engaging right from the beginning to the end.
At first, the lack of patience in me didn’t want to hear about England, I wanted to skip right to Pakistan. But once all the saucy details and flavours started emerging, it was crystal clear why it was important to dedicate time to the before section in England.
I particularly like that Addy, the main character is of mixed heritage and how that is explored throughout. It’s one thing being from a different heritage from the country you live in and trying to find the perfect balance there, but there are extra layers in Addy’s case. It’s interesting to read about the difference in culture, language, religion and how Addy navigates them.
I was lying on a beach in Grand Turks, but really I was in the hustle and bustle of the markets in Lahore because everything I read felt so rich and vivid that I was immediately transported there.
Every chapter is named after and features a recipe, which sets the tone for the chapter. If you want to secure your bae then you’ll need some ‘commitment cake’, and if you’ve done someone wrong try out ‘Forgive-Me Bitter Gourd.’ If you’ve had your heartbroken and you are feeling fragile try out the ‘Stay Strong Chicken Yakhni Soup.’
“Stay Strong Chicken Yakhni Soup
For patience and constancy, leading to inner strength take:
1 onion, sliced
1 big, black cardamom
4cm/2in cinnamon stick
...
The artistry: to extract the essence of things, less being at times so much more.”
It Hit me when
When I learned the big family secret in Lahore. It’s mad how something can be right in front of you but you’re oblivious to it. I think the reasoning behind it hit me more than the actual lie. (No spoilers ‘round here… you have to read the book and leave a comment when you know)
Nana’s quotes have left me thinking and reflecting outside of the book on faith and my general outlook on life and how I deal with scenarios. I love a book that makes me take away something to think about. Another thing I took away is a serious reminder, that you cannot rely on your happiness to come from someone.
characters
My favourite character: Oooh this was a tough one. I really identified with and loved Addy but I’ve got to go with Nana. Everyone needs a Nana like Addy’s. I already have one which is probably why she is my favourite character. She doesn’t understand boundaries and shows Addy so much love in her own way. Especially through the love language of food.
Addy’s best friend hmm something didn’t sit well with me about her. When Addy was crying, she started crying, and then upgraded it to being hysterical. To the point that Addy had to help her out. Them things there don’t add up. She seemed shady and untrustworthy.
“I have been transformed, just as the ingredients in my recipes are, into something better. My disparate parts melded. How ironic that I had to journey thousands of miles from home to find my way back to myself.”
Length
272 pages. Perfect length, nothing felt rushed or too dragged out at any point of the book.
Seasoning Level
CO2 | Salt | Pepper | Mixed Herbs | All Purpose Seasoning
All-purpose seasoning. The perfect mixture of culture, laughter, eye-rolling and surprise. I green light this book.
The Big Quote
“Nothing that hits you was ever going to miss you. Nothing that misses you was ever going to hit you.”
*Gifted by Headline Review. Thanks for sending me the perfect holiday book Alara.
Happy Publication Day, the book is not available to buy!
Frizzy
A Beginners Guide to Cruises: Worries VS Reality
I kicked off travelling in 2020 with a whole new experience. A cruise around the Caribbean, celebrating my home girl’s 30th birthday. I was excited but also overwhelmed with anxiety when I thought about the trip. WHY?
I was shooketh that the ship would sink. I’ve seen what happened in Titanic. People ended up pop off. I wasn’t trying to go out like that.
Reality
There was a whole deck worth of lifeboats out on display. Did they work? I don’t know, it never came to that. Plus each cabin had life jackets and. Oh, and all guests had to attend a compulsory safety briefing.
I can’t swim so why the hell would I fast myself to be out at sea. I get in 1-2 argument and I’m getting thrown overboard with the sharks. I was going to joke and say that I’m black I can’t swim, but it’s a bad stereotype. (My homegirl has actually written an article about it) Turns out 95% of Black British adults actually do not swim!
Reality
As long as you don’t move mad and think you are Tarzan you’re most probably not going to fall aboard. I actually started attending swimming classes though because I was so panicked. Sometimes fear is the best motivator.
I was going to be surrounded by old white pensioners.
Reality
Lol I actually was. Out of 3100 passengers, about 20 were melanated. After the initial stares, everyone stayed in their lane. Plus some of the people on the cruise were actually a vibe and a half!
Betty had a double hip replacement before she came on the cruise and had to get carried back to the ship because she got paralytic drunk after having too much rum on the beach.
Terry loved up the Reggae segment and was singing live with the band when Bob Marley came on, leaving his wife in the corner.
Jo looked majorly classy and boujie, but boyyy the lethal swear words that came out of her mouth when she was ready.
My favourite crew ever was made up of 4 widows (plus life goals Anne) who were solo holidaying. They played a game on the beach shouting “hey stranger” to men that walked past. The mens reactions were so priceless.
The food is going to be bland/unseasoned and I’m going to be stressed out about it.
Reality
Lol I played myself big time. I ate better in those 2 weeks than I have on any other holiday. Proper 3-5 course meals daily. Top class chefs and major flavour. I could write a whole post on the food alone!
All the activities are going to be for the elderly so I’ll be bored.
Reality
Bingo is life and there is so much to do on a cruise ship. The ship has a casino, library, a mini shopping mall. Plus old school movies actually bang. And once you are exploring the different islands you’re not that fussed to even know what activities are happening when you get back half the time.
I’m really proud that I didn’t let me initial worries stop me from enjoying the cruise. Would you happily book a cruise?